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Kadaver

Kadaver

Maybe death is like falling asleep
Aug 11, 2023
158
I stay up until I'm completely exhausted and then when I wake up I lay in bed all day. I'm doing it now—I have a doctor's appointment at 8 am but here I am at 4:30 am still glued to my phone. I need to shower, I haven't in weeks, but I just keep putting it off. It's like I just don't have the energy to force myself to do it. I don't brush my hair or really take care of myself at all. I've always had issues with picking my skin but now I've started ripping my hair out too.

I haven't left the house in over a week. I just can't bring myself to because of my dysphoria. I'm staying with my dad right now and he keeps asking me questions I can't bear to think about much less answer. I feel like I'm just not strong enough to survive living like this. All I want to do is go back to those moments I was happiest with my best friend, before I fucked everything up. That's all I want is to be with him again.
 
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