I don't think there's a topic I can go off of

[so tired or manic]

I'm pretty drunk. it's been happening more other. I keep hoping if I drink more it'll kill me, which may happen in 5-10 years, but I just black out after a while, which is peaceful in itself. I just wish I didn't wake up every time.

blacking out is happening less and less though as my body becomes resistant. the simple things become more complex and what little I have to look forward to seems so distant and far away.

when I'm drunk I want to socialize so I'm sure I'm posting a lot. apologies.