Venting i dont know why im living

[krsjkpn9]

i live only so im not a burden when i die but i cant be happy no matter what i do
ive tried so much
ive tried to be a useful person
ive tried to change for the better
ive tried so hard to be a better child
but everything about me is wrong
i cant fix myself at all
even when i try to depend on others so i have something to live for
it's always the same and i never find a good reason in the end
i feel like i sound pathetic and embarrassing like those kids on tiktok but i'm at a loss at what to do
i promise i've tried everything but i feel like it's about time for me to give up

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

I'm sorry you have been trapped here like the rest of us.
May you find peace when you are ready to leave.