I don't know why I never learn my lessons

[I'm exhausted]

If I do I would be dead. But because I don't, I'm still here.

After realizing history repeats itself, and for me it's the bad part of my history, I couldn't do the check I need to to go to the bathroom. It's my OCD. Now I'm triggered full of anxiety and still don't know why I'm giving this world a try. I've given it the benefit of the doubt that maybe the universe would be kinder to me one day. Nope getting worse. Abuse and hostility, from people I know to strangers that I have done nothing. Who knows maybe I did but police say otherwise. They always side with me, even tell me to file reports. So then what am I doing so wrong to attract these people?

 

[Sweet emotion]

If I do I would be dead. But because I don't, I'm still here.

After realizing history repeats itself, and for me it's the bad part of my history, I couldn't do the check I need to to go to the bathroom. It's my OCD. Now I'm triggered full of anxiety and still don't know why I'm giving this world a try. I've given it the benefit of the doubt that maybe the universe would be kinder to me one day. Nope getting worse. Abuse and hostility, from people I know to strangers that I have done nothing. Who knows maybe I did but police say otherwise. They always side with me, even tell me to file reports. So then what am I doing so wrong to attract these people?

I'm sorry I'm a little confused. When you say if I do I would be dead. Do what? And what check do you need to do to go to the bathroom? I have OCD too but in different ways. Why are you talking about when you say who k ows maybe I did but police say otherwise and they always side with you? Could you be a little more specific because I'm lost with this post.

 

[_Minsk]

feeling the same, im not sure if this helps but i see it as this, we are just trapped inside of a body which has its own things going on and for a lot of stuff we cant help it, we are just in control of very few things but most stuff is handled by our subconscious/body..