I don’t know if I want to recover

[l0sing]

I don't know if I want to recover. I of course want to for my children but I don't want to for myself. I've come to accept that life will constantly throw shit my way because it's been like that since I was 8, I've tried my best to make the most of what I'm given but now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.

If you've seen my posts on the other board you'll know how I've been. The past few days I've made small progress, I've taken my youngest for days out, I've cooked a few meals and ate a little bit myself. I've been talking to more people and not had a breakdown for a few days. But the feeling that something bad is round the corner is still there.

How do I push on with this feeling?

 

[timf]

Congratulations for dipping your toes in the recovery waters.

You may wish to savor this time so that when things turn bad again, you can bring these memories out as proof that you can recover.

 

[l0sing]

Congratulations for dipping your toes in the recovery waters.

You may wish to savor this time so that when things turn bad again, you can bring these memories out as proof that you can recover.

Thank you, that's really good advice!

 

[theboy]

It's good that you're still considering the option of living. Like the other comment, just enjoy the moments with your children even if you feel bad. Just being with them will ease your heart.