Venting i don't have the right to feel lonely

[nails]

i see so many people vent about their loneliness, how they are unable to make friends, lost their closest friends, only have toxic people in their lives... i've been there. for years, i did not have a single person in my life. i went months without even interacting with people. after that, i had one friend who treated me like shit, and i kept her around for years.
now, i have amazing friends both online and irl. i have the sweetest, most loving and understanding friends anyone could ask for. i have a loving, supportive family (mostly) and pets who adore me. i know i'm not alone, i know i'm just being ungrateful, but i feel so fucking lonely.
i feel the same way i did when i had no one.
it's not fair to anyone, i want to get over this. i'm surrounded by people who love me eternally, but it's not enough. i still feel empty.

i want love
existing is so painful, i wish i had died. i'm an idiot for failing my attempt.

 

[Wolf Girl]

So research has shown that feelings of loneliness do not actually have much to do with how much social contact you get. You can have lots of good relationships and still feel totally alone. It's all in your head. And it sucks big time. I'm sorry you feel lonely.

 

[nails]

So research has shown that feelings of loneliness do not actually have much to do with how much social contact you get. You can have lots of good relationships and still feel totally alone. It's all in your head. And it sucks big time. I'm sorry you feel lonely.

i've never heard about that! thank you for the reply :)

 

[coolgal82]

i get it. i have my besties and my parents are awesome but like idk i still feel so alone, like i said on another thread its like filling the square hole with the round peg like it fills it a bit but like it isnt enough. they'll never like me in the same way i like them and i just need someone who does like no matter how many close friends i have i'll never be happy until i get that.

 

[graysme]

I get you. It never feels enough for some reason. I'm starting to think loneliness is just the consequence of something else, but I can't figure out what.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think we all have the right to feel whatever we feel. Emotions aren't exactly defined by logic. I suppose you could go further to analyse why you still feel lonely. Is it because you may be around people but, you are still fairly closed off to them? I imagine that can be a defense mechanism if you have been hurt in the past. Is it that you feel like they don't fully understand you or, you don't fully understand them? Maybe the worst I've felt around people is that they don't care/ aren't interested enough to want to understand. That's a very lonely feeling. I think it's probably worse to feel lonely in a crowd.

 

[sancta-simplicitas]

There is a disctintion between subjective and objective loneliness. The latter is when you're in fact lonely, when there literally is no one around you. But without the subjective sense of loneliness - when you actually feeling lonely - it usually isn't a problem. The former is what's causing trouble, because that is what leads to stress. Ongoing feelings of loneliness is inherently traumatic to a human. We're pack animals after all. I do believe that even when the ongoing loneliness is over, the subjective sense of it can remain for a long time, sort of like post traumatic stress. It's not you being ungrateful, it's your psyche trying to process a major stressor.

 

[nails]

i get it. i have my besties and my parents are awesome but like idk i still feel so alone, like i said on another thread its like filling the square hole with the round peg like it fills it a bit but like it isnt enough. they'll never like me in the same way i like them and i just need someone who does like no matter how many close friends i have i'll never be happy until i get that.

i feel the exact same way. i'm usually someone's "favorite" friend for a couple months and then they get closer to someone else and it's so devastating to me. this has happened with almost every single friend i've had, and i feel so empty, lonely, and insignificant because of it. i can't even enjoy the feeling of being someone's favorite anymore because i know it won't last.
i always love my friends way too much. it feels like they mean more to me than i do to them.

 

[killorbekilled]

I am a clique hopper. I remember when I was in high school and I kept hopping friend groups every semester and year. I was happy and felt wanted, but then that feeling just kept disappearing. I wish I wasn't like that.

 

[mango-meridian]

I dunno if this helps, but a lot of the time when I'm lonely around people it's because it doesn't feel safe/acceptable to be myself.

 

[sevennn]

loneliness comes from a lack of vulnerable and trusting connection. being able to open up to someone fully. and them being able to do the same. you can have countless people in your life but be lonely. because loneliness is cured only through this vulnerability. isolation is a bit different.

 

[Ayrinea-chi.zzz]

So research has shown that feelings of loneliness do not actually have much to do with how much social contact you get. You can have lots of good relationships and still feel totally alone. It's all in your head. And it sucks big time. I'm sorry you feel lonely.

This sounds interesting. No wonder why some people still feel lonely despite finally getting the right people and support they need in their lives. Would you mind if you post the link to some of the research articles that supports this? I want to understand loneliness and other mental health problems more, so that would be a big help for me.