I don't even wanna feel happy in this world

[BadChanges]

Everything is temporary. Your feelings, your appearance. I look at people and at some point they look miserable. Why would I want to give myself the false hope that things will be okay? It's delusional. Things will crumble once again. I might have a honeymoon for a month, a year, but it is temporary.

I look good. A side from my physical problems and my weak body I have a good looking face. Because I don't experience pleasure, excitement and I'm in constant feeling of chronic pain and disability, the only thing that I see is how my face looks. I dread the day that this will degrade too(balding, etc. ), and what would I even be ?

My biggest problem is lack of sense of identity and belonging on top of my other problems.

I don't want to take pills and make myself belong. I just want to belong naturally. Even if this world fucking sucks.

I don't even know anymore, my feelings change constantly between despair and 'content'. I just now I have no future, and I don't even want to make myself a future. I'm 29, and it's too late considering all the issues I have.

I'm not a man. I'm a fucking kid. No sex drive, nothing.

I want this to end, i'm too overwhelmed. I got nothing.

 

[Woodnote]

I feel similar. Sometimes I desperately want to be happy. Then other times I can't help but think "what's the point..?"

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

Me too. I am actively avoiding joy. It feels like a cruel joke. Like I don't get to have a say when to feel happy. It just wants to come & go as it wishes? Fuck that. I'm staying for the bus and Im dragging myself there out of bitterness & spite... fuck.rationality .

 

[mattwitt]

Being miserable all of the time will definitely put you in a place where many things are no longer wanted anymore.

 

[Sweet emotion]

I'd want to feel happy any way I could. There is a lot of joy in life, it just so happens that when people are depression they don't feel it. But if you don't want to even try to turn things around there's no point in getting upset about it. And don't feel bad about not having a sex drive because depression takes that away from you. If you were happy you'd want to grab hold of all the wonderful things this world has to offer. We can't help that we get older or anything like that. There comes a point where you just have to accept it.

 

[BadChanges]

I'd want to feel happy any way I could. There is a lot of joy in life, it just so happens that when people are depression they don't feel it. But if you don't want to even try to turn things around there's no point in getting upset about it. And don't feel bad about not having a sex drive because depression takes that away from you. If you were happy you'd want to grab hold of all the wonderful things this world has to offer. We can't help that we get older or anything like that. There comes a point where you just have to accept it.

This is not just depression. Depression is situational, or a reason of there illnesses.

Ofcourse I would feel better f I wasn't as fatigued, worn down and 'depressed', but even if I wasn't, I would still have my other issues that are mostly physical and incurable. So what's the point? even if I wanted right now I couldn't have sex. So why does it matter to feel happy if you are handicapped?

 

[Sweet emotion]

This is not just depression. Depression is situational, or a reason of there illnesses.

Ofcourse I would feel better f I wasn't as fatigued, worn down and 'depressed', but even if I wasn't, I would still have my other issues that are mostly physical and incurable. So what's the point? even if I wanted right now I couldn't have sex. So why does it matter to feel happy if you are handicapped?

I didn't know you had physical issues. I do as well and it's awful. No way to live life I agree.