Story I discovered something weird (fingers crossed)

[apoptosis]

Okay so, kinda TMI, but when I used the restroom, I had a distinct orange color in my urine.

I did not eat anything that would turn it that color. So the only other option is heightened bilirubin levels, which is confirmed by jaundice in my eyes.

I have Gilberts syndrome, which means I already have slightly heightened bilirubin. However, I didn't find anything that confirmed that it was the cause— since I have bloodwork in the past that shows my bilirubin levels were slightly above average, and it accompanied jaundice in my eyes.

It never did anything to my urine before, even when I fasted for three days in a row (yay eating disorder!) You get very fast bilirubin buildup with fasting, it's explicitly mentioned to be so. But even then, my urine wasn't affected.

Sooo, it points to something wrong with my liver or pancreas. My fingers are crossed that it's serious and idk if that's selfish or wrong, but if it means I die from natural causes... then that would be very awesome.

Oh and overdosing would be easier if I have a damaged liver.

God I'm so mentally ill lmfao

Edit: there's apparently a new liver disease being spread around, specifically among kids. I mean, I'm 18, so would it be that far off? I'll do more research

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Okay so, kinda TMI, but when I used the restroom, I had a distinct orange color in my urine.

I did not eat anything that would turn it that color. So the only other option is heightened bilirubin levels, which is confirmed by jaundice in my eyes.

I have Gilberts syndrome, which means I already have slightly heightened bilirubin. However, I didn't find anything that confirmed that it was the cause— since I have bloodwork in the past that shows my bilirubin levels were slightly above average, and it accompanied jaundice in my eyes.

It never did anything to my urine before, even when I fasted for three days in a row (yay eating disorder!) You get very fast bilirubin buildup with fasting, it's explicitly mentioned to be so. But even then, my urine wasn't affected.

Sooo, it points to something wrong with my liver or pancreas. My fingers are crossed that it's serious and idk if that's selfish or wrong, but if it means I die from natural causes... then that would be very awesome.

Oh and overdosing would be easier if I have a damaged liver.

God I'm so mentally ill lmfao

IDK, but isn't just about anything treatable nowadays? Are you saying, that if there were treatments for the liver or pancreas problems, that you would just not take them? I think death by liver failure is pretty nasty.

 

[apoptosis]

IDK, but isn't just about anything treatable nowadays? Are you saying, that if there were treatments for the liver or pancreas problems, that you would just not take them? I think death by liver failure is pretty nasty.

yeah, in most cases it would be treatable. It's just idle wishing since I know death by liver failure is definitely not fun

 

[WorthlessTrash]

IDK, but isn't just about anything treatable nowadays? Are you saying, that if there were treatments for the liver or pancreas problems, that you would just not take them? I think death by liver failure is pretty nasty.

They could always go to hospice and get "comfortable" there. I suppose if you don't have the means to CTB, it would be an option.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

yeah, in most cases it would be treatable. It's just idle wishing since I know death by liver failure is definitely not fun

No, it's not. I can guarantee that one. My cousin died of liver failure due to Cirrhosis, and my sister died from liver failure due to cancer of the liver.

 

[apoptosis]

No, it's not. I can guarantee that one. My cousin died of liver failure due to Cirrhosis, and my sister died from liver failure due to cancer of the liver.

well then. I genuinely don't know what to think abt this. Maybe I'm just overreacting, but if I start to get more symptoms and/or my urine stays that color, then I'll have to seriously consider my choices.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

They could always go to hospice and get "comfortable" there. I suppose if you don't have the means to CTB, it would be an option.

It's an option. My sister was under Hospice care and it still was not "comfortable". The breakthrough pain is real. It's a balancing act. If you get too much pain medication, then you can't function and have no quality of life. Not enough then you still have a lot of pain. And there was no "in house" Hospice care, either. They only do that on very rare occasions. Everything was done in the home.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

It's an option. My sister was under Hospice care and it still was not "comfortable". The breakthrough pain is real. It's a balancing act. If you get too much pain medication, then you can't function and have no quality of life. Not enough then you still have a lot of pain. And there was no "in house" Hospice care, either. They only do that on very rare occasions. Everything was done in the home.

I'm sorry for your loss, and the pain she went through :(