• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

Is your room the only place you feel safe?

  • yes

    Votes: 16 57.1%
  • no

    Votes: 12 42.9%

  • Total voters
    28
I am ___________

I am ___________

Hated, Unloved by the world and everything in it.
Jan 3, 2019
134
Solitude

[Day 2 Road to ctb]:

I sit here lamenting in my own pity, surrounded by cold walls of white. In this room I feel safe, inside these walls I feel safe. There are no inhabitants besides me, and I am ok with that. I hear a echo coming from towards the end of this vast empty space, the sound seems to be one of anger, violence, and abuse. I want no part in what is beyond these walls, so I ignore the sound by covering my ears. The sound gradually grows louder and louder, until I slowly lose consciousness. For that brief moment, I am no longer there, I am free and soaring through the vast emptiness. There are no clouds, nor sound, but somehow I feel a great sense of freedom and peace. I eventually wake up from that state to realize, I am still here. I think to myself, why do I have to return to this hell? Why can't the dream last for an eternity? I hear the same sound again, and I curl up into a ball against the walls of white. There is no light in this empty space, it is just me and the calming embrace of darkness. A horrid ray of light slowly makes it way into the empty space, and the walls seem to have crumbled. I am thrown back into the horrid existence of reality forcefully, I try to resist with all my might but it is useless. I just want to be alone in the room, behind the walls of white..... I just want to disappear. I know that the end is near, I can feel it throughout my body and I accept it. Let death embrace me with it's welcoming arms, it is the only place that I have left to return to.
 
  • Like
Reactions: throwaway777, Xaphous, Lifeisatrap and 8 others
YellowJasmine

YellowJasmine

Student
Dec 6, 2018
113
I voted no because I don't feel safe in my room either. I live in a noisy area and the sounds are terrifying to me.That means I don't feel safe anywhere but I imagine some place like a vast uninhabited natural area like woods or mountains.

Very nice work, thanks for the good read.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lifeisatrap and Circles
Xerxes

Xerxes

Invisible
Nov 8, 2018
936
My room bears the emotional stress and torment my wife and I have gone through in our fights. I'll CTB far away from all that in a place where after a good controlled burn, the landscape is reborn from the ashes.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Lifeisatrap and YellowJasmine

Similar threads

damienlerone03
Replies
9
Views
352
Offtopic
EvisceratedJester
EvisceratedJester
futileflutters
Replies
6
Views
920
Suicide Discussion
suicidal jirai
suicidal jirai
struggles_inc
Replies
0
Views
223
Suicide Discussion
struggles_inc
struggles_inc