Venting I didn't ask to be here and never would

[Darkover]

I was born into a world without my consent, into a system where everything costs money I don't have, where suffering is constant and support is rare.

People say life is a gift, but for me, it hasn't been. It's been a fight I never agreed to — just endless survival, disappointment, loneliness, and pain.

What hurts the most is that even though I never asked for this life, I'm not allowed to leave it. I'm expected to stay, to keep going, no matter how much it hurts. And if I say I want out — people act like there's something wrong with me, instead of asking what's wrong with the world that made me feel this way.

Why is it okay to bring someone into a broken world without asking them first — but not okay for that person to want out?
Why is being born a decision someone else gets to make, but dying is something I'm not allowed to choose?

I'm tired. I don't want help. I don't want hope. I just want peace.
And the only kind of peace I truly believe in is nonexistence — not sleep, not healing, just nothingness. No more pain. No more fear. No more being trapped in a body and a world I never wanted.

But they won't let me have that.
And that's the cruelty of it all.
They force you in, and then they lock all the exits.

 

[Dante_]

What hurts the most is that even though I never asked for this life, I'm not allowed to leave it. I'm expected to stay, to keep going, no matter how much it hurts. And if I say I want out — people act like there's something wrong with me, instead of asking what's wrong with

I've always asked myself what is this obligation bestowed upon us involuntarily to HAVE to be here and what's the point of it too. I just guess its easier to not question and do what's expected of it, to meet the demands that it requires which isnt something anyone agreed to but I just can't nor accept why.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I hate this place too.

 

[wham311]

Completely untenable. Did not ask to be here. So bad at everything, so much suffering

 

[Darkover]

I've always asked myself what is this obligation bestowed upon us involuntarily to HAVE to be here and what's the point of it too. I just guess its easier to not question and do what's expected of it, to meet the demands that it requires which isnt something anyone agreed to but I just can't nor accept why.

It's a heavy burden being forced to exist without ever agreeing to it. Most just go along because it's easier, but questioning why you're here and what it all means is real and important

 

[numbeyesopen26]

as a woman this is exactly why I don't want kids. I have been sad since im 12, what life is that? I wish at 18 u could chose whether to die or not. My childhood is my inner happiness. I don't wanna grow up. I did for a couple years but its so corrupt, im back to complete sadness

 

[bankai]

this is exactly why I don't want kids. I have been sad since im 12

But this is what makes you awesome. You recognize the issue. You don't want to contribute to it. You don't want to add to it. And that's enough. That's more than enough. And thank you. You're far better than most of the people who just want to check the boxes. The ones that feel they need to have kids just because of peer pressure and family telling them that they need to.

 

[Tired_birth_1967]

The only free things that life offers are: illnesses, anomalies, tragedies and painful and violent deaths. Everything else has a price that is usually not cheap. Our main task (the vast majority) is to spend years trying to earn money to minimize the free "gifts" that life offers. With luck, it may be possible to maintain the illusion that life is beautiful for a little longer. Without luck, we soon discover that it is just an illusion. And life deceives us with small pleasures or moments, but those who are attentive will realize the trick. Some spend years searching for more and more some pleasant sensation that made them imagine that life is not bad. Then they say to themselves: "The problem is me". And this will make them continue and continue over and over again until they die. In many cases, they die in full "feeling of happiness". Sometimes young and prosperous. Others realize the futility of being alive and drag themselves day after day in the hope that it will all end. Others shorten their existence. And I suspect that this is only so difficult because it's the only really good thing that happens after you're born. It's like another control mechanism of nature so that no one discovers that the only good thing is non-existence.

 

[Michelstaedter]

You know what's the cruelest thing I read today? And I've barely started my day... An animal in a shelter, and they say, "If no one comes to pick him up, we'll have to euthanize him because we can't have him here."...
It's fucking crazy! Totally stupid! I mean, as humans, we can have influence over the life of an animal, an insect, but we can't have the freedom to choose to die however we want?!!
Just give me a damn bottle of Nembutal already!!!!

 

[ObsidianEnigma]

Why is it okay to bring someone into a broken world without asking them first — but not okay for that person to want out?
Why is being born a decision someone else gets to make, but dying is something I'm not allowed to choose?

Valid points. Realistically, you cannot even change your life much. You do not choose you genetics, your abilities, your weaknesses. You do not choose to which family you are born, in which country, how much money have. You cannot do anything as a child, everything depends on your parents and family. Once you are finally free to do whatever you want at 18 years or later, you have nothing, if your family did not provide good education, heathcare and money (or at least an appartment you could live in).

Everybody should be allowed to choose, whether to be here, or not. If society wants to limit suicides, lives should be made less miserable. It's not like people killing themselves at first troubles. It is usually very many years of unbearable suffering.

 

[Darkover]

Valid points. Realistically, you cannot even change your life much. You do not choose you genetics, your abilities, your weaknesses. You do not choose to which family you are born, in which country, how much money have. You cannot do anything as a child, everything depends on your parents and family. Once you are finally free to do whatever you want at 18 years or later, you have nothing, if your family did not provide good education, heathcare and money (or at least an appartment you could live in).

No i would never choose this life here with my mum and dad the one they have provided for me they didn't even have their own house they was reliant on benefits they couldn't even provided for themselves yet they still had the audacity to decided to have children and raised them in a shithole, they didn't even take me to the dentist

 

[betternever2havbeen]

Maybe it's my OCD or too much naval gazing but I'm irrationally angry about being born. Actually shouldn't say it's irrational considering what a burden and curse it is. I did have good parents tho so I feel I have no right to be angry. Still am tho. I never would've agreed to be born it's such bullshit we're thrown here because of other people's actions and forced to be part of a world we never asked for.

This is all because of parents-and my theory is they lack depth of thought and feelings so any hint of depression or feeling like "is this all there is" about life makes them want to breed. They're promised meaning and purpose by having kids. That's ultimately why we're all here- pure selfish actions of our parents and them not being able to deal with uncomfortable feelings.

 

[wham311]

My parents gave me absolutely everything and I fucked it up. But I am livid at them for having me bc I have never been happy.

They did all they could. It is my fault. They liked life and couldn't imagine bringing someone into this world who would do this poorly.

But frankly I cannot fucking cut it, and never even got close. Now I'm 38 and up schitts creek without a paddle.

I hate that they had me. I don't know what I feel for them anymore because I have messed up the bond and I resent them and they resent me.