executioner1983
death is sustainable
- Oct 2, 2023
- 85
Pretty much just the title. I cheat on everything, I cheat on people, I cheat on important exams, I cheat on anything I possibly can. Materially, I am coasting through life. I don't have it hard at all. I guess any day it could all go away, these things are so precarious, but right now, I have it really good; materially at least. Emotionally, I'm a little bit of a mess. But it's a mess I like, a mess I prefer. I'd rather coast though life physically so I can go fucking mental emotionally. I like it this way. I'm sure many would, but sometimes, I wonder if I'm an asshole for living this way. For breaking every single rule possible just so I can squeeze the most out of every opportunity that comes my way. Sometimes I feel like a sham. I haven't worked for a single thing in my life. It makes me feel incredibly hedonistic. I just take and take and take and I never give. I'm selfish. I don't come from a rich family or anything either, I just always happen to be at the right place at the right time. I don't know how long this will last, I hope forever, but most things are temporary. Am I supposed to live this way? So selfishly, so lazily, so hedonistically? My head is always in the clouds. I wonder when it'll all come crashing down.
It's funny, when you're at the bottom, you worry because well, you're at the bottom. But when you're at the top, you worry because well, it's a very long way down. That's what I worry about. If I have it so well now, isn't it only down from here?
It's funny, when you're at the bottom, you worry because well, you're at the bottom. But when you're at the top, you worry because well, it's a very long way down. That's what I worry about. If I have it so well now, isn't it only down from here?
