Help I cant cope

[paroxyical]

I literally cant cope i just need to CTB there is no point in me staying alive. Im planning a way out now because frankly there is no nurse or crisis volunteer who wont jist make the situation worse. im so jealous of people who have already gone via SN. i wish i could.
ibwanna drink bleach so badly i should never have been allowed to live alone

 

[Ghost2211]

Please don't drink bleach.... Have you looked through the resources for a more reliable and less horrible way to ctb?

 

[paroxyical]

Please don't drink bleach.... Have you looked through the resources for a more reliable and less horrible way to ctb?

ill be honest im not sure i actually want to die more than just hurt myself and make a statement. i know that sounds so fucking attention seeking and it is, but the people in my life who i want to care about me dont realise how shit this is for me. so something that could satisfy my need to self harm but would also hospitalise me would be great.
trying with a knife on my skin and not doing too well coz its blunt
i have borderline personality disorder that's why I'm such a horrible needy attention seeking fuck

 

[Ghost2211]

ill be honest im not sure i actually want to die more than just hurt myself and make a statement. i know that sounds so fucking attention seeking and it is, but the people in my life who i want to care about me dont realise how shit this is for me. so something that could satisfy my need to self harm but would also hospitalise me would be great.
trying with a knife on my skin and not doing too well coz its blunt
i have borderline personality disorder that's why I'm such a horrible needy attention seeking fuck

You could always just walk into a hospital and say you're going to hurt yourself. If you feel a need to make a physical show of suffering you could use the blade from a razor. Kitchen knives are not great for cutting. You can also get scalpels online, but I would say just walking in and saying you will harm yourself would due.

 

[paroxyical]

You could always just walk into a hospital and say you're going to hurt yourself. If you feel a need to make a physical show of suffering you could use the blade from a razor. Kitchen knives are not great for cutting. You can also get scalpels online, but I would say just walking in and saying you will harm yourself would due.

my arms are pretty cut up already from using a mix of a razor and the knife. i honestly do just want to go there but last time they did shit all. i would also want assurance that since im 18 my parents won't be contacted

 

[Ghost2211]

my arms are pretty cut up already from using a mix of a razor and the knife. i honestly do just want to go there but last time they did shit all. i would also want assurance that since im 18 my parents won't be contacted

What is the ultimate goal? Getting sectioned won't amount to anything. If you want to stay at a mental health hospital you can walk in and ask to be committed.

 

[paroxyical]

What is the ultimate goal? Getting sectioned won't amount to anything. If you want to stay at a mental health hospital you can walk in and ask to be committed.

i honestly don't even know i think i just want to be looked after and cared about :( no one gives a shit about me here at uni, and im craving attention and love from my bf that he isn't giving me atm because my suicidal behaviour and self harm and behaviour towards him etc is making him ill himself basically because im a manipulative toxic bitch

 

[Ghost2211]

i honestly don't even know i think i just want to be looked after and cared about :( no one gives a shit about me here at uni, and im craving attention and love from my bf that he isn't giving me atm because my suicidal behaviour and self harm and behaviour towards him etc is making him ill himself basically because im a manipulative toxic bitch

I'm sorry to hear you're not getting the attention you need. Suicidal ideation and self harm are not good ways to get attention since they tend to make people think poorly of us rather than care more. What about sharing interests with your bf?

 

[paroxyical]

I'm sorry to hear you're not getting the attention you need. Suicidal ideation and self harm are not good ways to get attention since they tend to make people think poorly of us rather than care more. What about sharing interests with your bf?

the suicidal ideation itself isnt to get attention, thats just because im suicidal. but i know that trying to make it public is for attention from him yeah. like if he just cared about me and how i felt i probably wouldnt tell him about my self harm or about my suicide attempts.

we actually do get on some if not most of the time. my mental health just gets in the way

 

[schopenh]

So could you tell your boyfriend that you want his attention and that you have been thinking about harming yourself just to get it (but that also you are thinking of suicide)? Or have you done this already and it's been unsuccessful?