i asked my friend

[Life_and_Death]

"am i over reacting about what happened in the past? that it was just a fucked up mistake and i should forget it?"

"no you're not over reacting. that was awful."

file it under recovery because i have a therapist appointment tomorrow where im going to talk about it?
or
file it under suicide discussion because lack of processing ability, causing stress?

hearing someone else saying it always feels different and hits harder than telling yourself

 

[Life_and_Death]

grand.
my husband seems pissed off at me because im staying awake helping my troubled friend. and every time i hear the wii making noise its pissing me off more because he should be sleeping for work, instead hes gaming and im alone in the bathroom dealing with stuff.
"are you mad at me?" no im trying to give you peace so you can sleep while i help my friend. you however walking past me after i grabbed your shirt for a hug says that youre mad at me though. sorry im helping my friend???

and then theres that. im helping my friend

then theres my other friend thats blocked..again...hopefully forever this time but i honestly doubt it. why even bother talking to him if nothing i say matters.

yay for drinks 3hrs before work and 12hrs before my therapists appointment

oh right and im still waiting on that happy birthday from my "dad". i tried being sympathetic to him but its been 8-9 days since my birthday, there cant be a good enough reason for me to not hear for you in this long. 2 seconds. thats all it takes and thats all i need. just 2 seconds to be reminded that you do give a shit