Venting I am the reason for my own destruction.

[darkrage2]

Everyone or anyone reading this, i don't even care if someone reads this because I just need to put it out there I can't hold it in and I can't tell people I know or the friends I know because telling them anything is just a waste of time that just leads to me being laughed at. So some days ago I had a friend who was literally closest to me we had our issues but u can't function without him or at least thats what I thought. He and I were having some issues and he straight up called me a fucking leach that just brings down everything that comes in contact. I was angry not dissapointed I begged him to stay with me a few days ago so I felt like a fucking fool that I expected him to be nice but after that I knew he was saying truth to some extent because thereafter all my relationships starting to crumble I am all alone now, depressed. Today I wanted to write and vent about all of this and opened my notes app and there I write many things like ideas for my book or just a normal vent and I clicked on the book idea and the 2nd word I saw was leach. I was describing myself for the idea of the book it was supposed to be my story. And when I saw it, I was speechless because that's not how he sees me that's how I also see myself and that is how I am. I am not going to kill myself or anything but I am depressed to a point that I don't wanna live anymore.

 

[Darkover]

One of the things I have learned the hard way is that real friends are pretty rare. Acquaintances come and go, but real friends are there for you through thick and thin. If you have one or two real friends in a lifetime, that is an awesome thing.

Don't expect or seek a lot of friends. It isn't going to happen. If you find one good friend, treasure that person.

 

[7seppuku]

You're not a leech for asking for a bit of your friend's time and attention that's literally what they should provide otherwise i don't see any reason why you should stay in touch with them. Honestly you're better off without some people and in my opinion it's better to be alone than in bad company. Ive already cut off a lot of people i thought were my friends and despite the loneliness it leads to, im still glad i did it.

 

[theboy]

I understand you but you should not be so hard on yourself.

 

[Ambivalent1]

"I have become death destroyer of worlds"
Oppenheimer quoting Vishnu

We are all on a path to destroying our individual worlds and a pixel in the universe's tapestry.