I am just a peace of shit

[egyptian_baddie]

so people live in war torn countries , during active war eg sudanese people and then after all that trauma , they turn out to be successful and good people. and then there is me a piece of fucking useless shit , has no purpose in life , suffering because my country is what? homophobic and misogynistic and my ex left me, parents were abusive. I am so fucking privileged , I have a roof over my fucking head and I still am a failure. like what the actual fuck am I, just a fucking lazy person who can't do shit in his life other than keep whining on the internet, I dont deserve half of the shit I got , I deserve nothing. I am not homeless yet. I am just a piece of shit that wants everything in life to be perfect and when it doesn't go my way , I run to suicide because I am a looser. imagine having so much privilege and still being ungrateful. FUCK ME, I hope I die soon and that my body rots. I hope no body turns out to be like me. I hope someone just kills me and finishes this job

 

[bruised_reed]

I am sorry you are struggling so much. :(

 

[egyptian_baddie]

I am sorry you are struggling so much. :(

I am just a piece of turd , a turd is more useful than me , you shouldn't feel sorry to me. we should feel sorry for women in aphghanistan , people in war torn countries , innocent people everywhere just not me , all my suffering was because of me , my actions , my laziness and my low freaking iq , I am not innocent , I caused all my shit

 

[Aflame5926]

I am just a piece of turd , a turd is more useful than me , you shouldn't feel sorry to me. we should feel sorry for women in aphghanistan , people in war torn countries , innocent people everywhere just not me , all my suffering was because of me , my actions , my laziness and my low freaking iq , I am not innocent , I caused all my shit

you dont have to have anything prove how better how other people are or how miserible other people are. the thing that matters its can you keep living for yourself.

if the answer is no which is likely the case it would better be explaining how everything got to this point. you dont have to. there is no obligation. if it relieves you venting like this sure. but to able to understand you it would be better to explain how everything happend.

 

[Abyss Dweller]

I'm a firm believer that one's troubles are authentic regardless of how small or insignificant it may seem to others.

There's always someone who has it worse. The starving child could "count their blessings" cause their sibling already starved to death.
By this logic noone can ever feel bad about anything.

This doesn't mean you can't be happy for the things you have or the circumstances you are in. But again: your troubles are authentic and they are authentic regardless of how small they seem compared to xyz.

 

[yotaka]

It's not a competition, my friend. Just because other people are suffering doesn't mean you aren't as well. It's perfectly OK for you to feel bad about your situation. I hope you can feel some love and care towards yourself

 

[egyptian_baddie]

explaining how everything got to this point

- ex abandoning me and I dont think I can love after
- I am an exmuslim in a muslim majority country
- hate how my parents treated me , they were physically abusive and verbally but they gave me a roof over my head and provided money for good education
- failure at school , graduated with extremely bad grades
-living scared of being caught by police for being gay , so always have to stay hidden
other shit , however all my problems are just like simple & easy , I just suffer from so much anxiety and have wanted to be dead since a young age, I disgust myself genuinely

I'm a firm believer that one's troubles are authentic regardless of how small or insignificant it may seem to others.

me too for everyone but myself. every action has a consequence and I am in the consequences of my own rn

 

[fishperson]

this post is self contradictory , because u r comparing urself to people that alrdy have a goal in life. while u dont.
u are instantly in a worse position than they are

 

[egyptian_baddie]

this post is self contradictory , because u r comparing urself to people that alrdy have a goal in life. while u dont.

I have goals but can't reach them because I am not smart enough for them and my own mental illness , see I keep blaming everyone for my shitty life but the blame is all on me. truly I deserve my situation
like yea I wanna immigrate for a better life , but do I fucking deserve it? no. do I need it? no. I am just a whinny ass bitch, I should just live a miserable life like any other person , its not like anyone has it easy, or fucking have the balls to suicide , like just do it , no one is gonna fucking come save u

 

[Aflame5926]

like yea I wanna immigrate for a better life , but do I fucking deserve it? no. do I need it? no. I am just a whinny ass bitch, I should just live a miserable life like any other person , its not like anyone has it easy, or fucking have the balls to suicide , like just do it , no one is gonna fucking come save u

- ex abandoning me and I dont think I can love after
- I am an exmuslim in a muslim majority country
- hate how my parents treated me , they were physically abusive and verbally but they gave me a roof over my head and provided money for good education
- failure at school , graduated with extremely bad grades
-living scared of being caught by police for being gay , so always have to stay hidden
other shit , however all my problems are just like simple & easy , I just suffer from so much anxiety and have wanted to be dead since a young age, I disgust myself genuinely

me too for everyone but myself. every action has a consequence and I am in the consequences of my own rn

there is a reason assylum is granted for gay/ trans people tho
to be hidden al F time sounds like a very fun thing to do (maximum sarcasm)

it also not helping to be inside a muslim country with this so i can totally understand a dead wish + anxiety

but how is this the result of your own consequences? being gay aint a choice tho.

you are right that nobody gonna save you that why we all got here.

so whats the plan?

 

[BlockedintheUK]

so people live in war torn countries , during active war eg sudanese people and then after all that trauma , they turn out to be successful and good people. and then there is me a piece of fucking useless shit , has no purpose in life , suffering because my country is what? homophobic and misogynistic and my ex left me, parents were abusive. I am so fucking privileged , I have a roof over my fucking head and I still am a failure. like what the actual fuck am I, just a fucking lazy person who can't do shit in his life other than keep whining on the internet, I dont deserve half of the shit I got , I deserve nothing. I am not homeless yet. I am just a piece of shit that wants everything in life to be perfect and when it doesn't go my way , I run to suicide because I am a looser. imagine having so much privilege and still being ungrateful. FUCK ME, I hope I die soon and that my body rots. I hope no body turns out to be like me. I hope someone just kills me and finishes this job

I can relate to a lot of this brother / sister. Abusive parents and homophobia is more than enough to make you miserable you dont need all that other shit to justify it.

 

[egyptian_baddie]

there is a reason assylum is granted for gay/ trans people tho
to be hidden al F time sounds like a very fun thing to do (maximum sarcasm)

it also not helping to be inside a muslim country with this so i can totally understand a dead wish + anxiety

but how is this the result of your own consequences? being gay aint a choice tho.

you are right that nobody gonna save you that why we all got here.

so whats the plan?

At that point, plan is to die this month, use all my resources and energy on that

 

[burninghill]

I feel the exact same way

 

[Aflame5926]

At that point, plan is to die this month, use all my resources and energy on that

ok we got the WHY

next part is for you figuring the HOW and WHAT

so there is plenty info on here. i would make a plan for yourself and then sometimes post it here to validate (if its possible validate)
so on issues you get stuck. make your own hypothessis and then we either can say you are rigth or you probally should not do this

 

[ificouldlivewithout]

so people live in war torn countries , during active war eg sudanese people and then after all that trauma , they turn out to be successful and good people. and then there is me a piece of fucking useless shit , has no purpose in life , suffering because my country is what? homophobic and misogynistic and my ex left me, parents were abusive. I am so fucking privileged , I have a roof over my fucking head and I still am a failure. like what the actual fuck am I, just a fucking lazy person who can't do shit in his life other than keep whining on the internet, I dont deserve half of the shit I got , I deserve nothing. I am not homeless yet. I am just a piece of shit that wants everything in life to be perfect and when it doesn't go my way , I run to suicide because I am a looser. imagine having so much privilege and still being ungrateful. FUCK ME, I hope I die soon and that my body rots. I hope no body turns out to be like me. I hope someone just kills me and finishes this job

Me too. I have done worse things so I just want to end it

 

[somethingisntreal]

I don't have much to add, but I feel the same way. I'm an awful, lazy and manipulative piece of shit who does nothing except lying on the bed, scrolling and still expects people to like me.