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M

miserable_existance

I don't know
Dec 17, 2021
72
i am a 30 year old guy from I_ndia had been jobless most of my life , mental illness runs in my family on mothers side as well as fathers side , i am poor . . i dont have the courage to end my l_ife my conventional means like jumping from top of a building ,train even h_anging . i have been searching for p_ainless methods all my life .. discovered the p_eacefull pill and ex_it international only as recently as 5 years before . got the p_irated version of the book from some ill_Egal websites . i can never in my life afford the price they ask for their material .


i tried c_Arbon 0 by burning c_harcoal , it didnt work out (dont know what went wrong ) bought N_itrogen cylinder and tried to go ahead with it and i coughed and burning sensation was felt all over my face and eyes . as the last final step i was starting to build deb_reather on the guide made by Trailer TRASH , There have been posts that say that it has failiure rates . i dont know i felt that it could work for me .dont know a gut feeling . bought sod_A L_ime 5 kgs , counter l_ung and all the things . but when i put more research in to it there have been cases in which so_Da lime dust has caused lung burn and face burns even in patients at hospital with excessive dust in the system , if proper filtration isnt used


i donot want to end up more worse than from where i started




i really dont know what to try next ,, can i have a friend or friend_S from In_dia if are here are desperate to d_ie as me , my last plan is to vis_it n_epal and go on high altitude mountains and ctb myself naturally in the tallest peaks of there , it doesnt look practical hyp_oxic death


i dont know what i want . if i could find someone who is a s desperate me and willing to be with me we can plan on something together ... i am a poor guy with absolute no achievements in life . the forums i read the people here are far far superior than me in ever aspect



i have extreme inferirority complexes .. i am using underscores before key words is to not get indexed by g_oogle as i studies computer science 10 years before have minimula knowledge about computer systems . never could complete the course




this is the only place in years where i found that i found my group of people or place that i belong




i am partially drunk and desperate . if my post doesnt meet forum rules please delete it and not ban me ... i only have this place to come
 
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S

SuicidallyCurious

Enlightened
Dec 20, 2020
1,715
You know google is CIA

So you're smarter than most !
 
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fox_wannabe

fox_wannabe

Enlightened
Jul 7, 2021
1,112
Idk, going to Nepal to jump sounds like terrible way to die.
Sorry that you go through all of this.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,699
I'm sorry you are suffering so much, it sounds like you have been through a lot. I know it can be unbearable when you are desperate. I wish you the best in whatever happens.
 
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