How to Suicide? (wrong answers only)

[Symbiote]

Jump off a one story house.

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

Excessive use of Astolfo's monster ''can''

 

[IsThisTheEnd?]

Wanking with a orange in your mouth.

 

[FuneralCry]

Drink some water (I wish that I could ctb this way)

 

[Oblivion Access]

Eat over 400 bananas in 1 day

 

[Silenos]

Hang yourself with a candy necklace

 

[NSA]

Shoot yourself with an air pistol.

 

[Joey]

Jumping over an electric fence

 

[Symbiote]

Join a suicide awareness group.

 

[Joey]

Putting Red Flag signs on a Rip current day at the beach

 

[Murasa]

Jump into a lake with bricks tied to your leg, don't worry, it'll be painless

 

[Symbiote]

Lay in a bathtub and turn the water on to scalding hot. Enjoy cooking yourself to death with some celery, carrots, and potatoes for that delicious human stew for the crime scene cleaners to enjoy.

 

[Murasa]

Smoke a pooped diaper

Lay in a bathtub and turn the water on to scalding hot. Enjoy cooking yourself to death with some celery, carrots, and potatoes for that delicious human stew for the crime scene cleaners to enjoy.

BORN TO BOIL, sorry I had to say it.

 

[Dr.Precocious]

Would a hot tub full of eggnog do the trick?

 

[Toxic Positivity]

Dress in a panda costume as a joke. A very convincing one. Someone will call animal control when they see you on the high street on all fours looking for bamboo. I had to make sure it was bamboo and not eucalyptus. That's koalas.

Out of nowhere a barbiturate dart penetrates your paper mache panda rump and you're out like a light. You wake up in your nation's most renowned zoo. You are being weighed at this point, and everyone thinks you are very cute. It's been a long time since anyone loved you this much. You hold your tongue and continue the charade.

Fast forward two months and you're in too deep, too embarrassed to tell the truth, too enamored with the love and affection everyone at the zoo has for you. They are wondering why won't mate. They prescribe panda boner pills and mix them in your bamboo cheerios. You die of a massive heart attack while hard as a rock and after cremation everyone still thinks that you were a real panda.

 

[ultrafuntimes]

fill each of your body orifices with concrete

BONUS: cover your appendages with lacerations, bathe in a tub of isopropyl alcohol.

 

[Silenos]

Try to make friends with a bullet ant colony

 

[Symbiote]

Wipe your ass with the leaves of a Gympie Gympie Tree.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Consume oxygen on a daily basis. I heard studies show that everyone who has ever died has been exposed to oxygen.

 

[Life sucks]

Sleeping

 

[genericuser]

Get run over by a toy car

 

[Someone123]

Jump off a one story house.

Surprisingly this can work depending on how you land- if you land on the back of your head this could definitely work. Lots of people die just from falling backwards from a standing position and hitting their head- this is likely how Bob Saget died.

Drink some water (I wish that I could ctb this way)

This can actually work- in a couple recent frat hazing parties people have died from drinking very excessive amounts of water- they use a beer bong and with excessive amounts this can work.

 

[_Seeking]

I've always felt that spontaneous combustion would be a nice way to go.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

Sticking questionable things up your rear end. Take your pick: Barbie doll, bacon, cactus, live eel, (loaded) handgun, pencil, shoehorn, and many more.


Painless death NOT guaranteed!

 

[PrisonBreak]

Hold your breath till you pass out.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

Eat over 400 bananas in 1 day

Well, the hyperkalemia might be effective for CTB if that number was more realistic.

 

[Sherri]

Run over by a barbie car.

 

[Murasa]

Cut your wrists, but only a little! We wouldn't want to die by suicide.

 

[narval]

Just sit and wait. At some point, you'll die.

 

[Symbiote]

Join the 9-5 work grind for the next 55 years.