Help How to push through with CTB even though you have parents that would be sad?

[TemporaryToTesting]

I'm aiming to CTB in a few weeks after my exams have ended but my parents are currently going through a divorce and I'm afraid that it will be too much for my mother. It's unlikely that any of my reasoning and/or desire will change so it will happen eventually and as a result I'll probably continue to suffer if I don't go through with it as soon as possible. How have other people navigated this sort of situation in the past?

 

[22yearsbroken]

Its a tough thing... because no matter what ..parents.. partners.. family or friends people will be sad and feel grief and guilt.
Grief for the loss
Guilt because they didnt see the signs but mainly the guilt comes from them realizing that they never asked how you are and brushing us off in way that says " oh its just a phase or things will get better and all that bollxs ... in the end its always a choice ... your choice your life but if you feel that there is some hope or a future then there is notbing wrong in aski g fir the help .. its a hard thing to do, asking for help.. but nothing wrong with giving it go if your unsure of things...
Just remember .. your life your choice

 

[Worndown]

Everyone has to balance their needs vs unintended consequences.
Sometimes you have no acceptable options and do what you must.

 

[SomewhereAlongThe]

Hey it's a pretty shitty situation, I'd trade you with my parents who don't care at all what happens to me.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Personally, I can't reconcile it. I simply feel like I can't do it to my Dad. So, I'm doing what I can to hold on until he dies first. Sorry- I know that doesn't help.

I think, like others have said though, it's a sort of balance: My current pain and how much more I can cope with vs. What they will likely go through if I do it.

If the balance tipped for me so I truly thought I couldn't cope anymore, I'd probably do the (possibly foolish) thing of trying to explain to my Dad why he would need to let me go. That way, at least the shock would be reduced and, we could say goodbye. It would really depend on the parent there though. That would likely lead to psyche ward sectioning for some people! I think my Dad would be devastated but, I think he does actually love me enough to not want me to suffer.

It's very hard for you though. A very tough time for all of you. I'm sorry. I really don't know how to get around it. I guess people just get to a point where they can't cope with anymore, no matter what.

 

[Rynalia]

I'm pretty biased.

I would have preferred my parents to be sad for me while I'm alive. Not for after I inevitably CTB.

Therefore I can't realistically feel anything about it. If they really cared as much as they want to make it seem like they do, then why neglect the part that has been suffering all this time?

 

[Griever]

My parents wouldn't be sad and they wouldn't miss me either

 

[idontwanttosuffer]

My parents would be heart broken and shattered. But I just can't go on.

 

[astonishedturnip]

I'm aiming to CTB in a few weeks after my exams have ended but my parents are currently going through a divorce and I'm afraid that it will be too much for my mother. It's unlikely that any of my reasoning and/or desire will change so it will happen eventually and as a result I'll probably continue to suffer if I don't go through with it as soon as possible. How have other people navigated this sort of situation in the past?

I'm holding out for them. I absolutely adore my parents and they're the only people who give a shit about me/understand me. They know about my ideations and have made it clear that it will absolutely destroy them if I CTB. I know I'm lucky to have good parents and I can't just ignore their wishes.

Though, the very thought of them dying sends me in a suicidal death spiral, so, we'll see who actually goes first, lol.

If I'm unlucky and they end up dying before me (I'm holding out for the brief faint glimmer of hope that my heart will give out in my sleep or I'll get hit by a meteorite and get killed instantly or whatever) I'm blowing my life savings on a cruise around the world and then jumping off a bridge once I get back home. The idea of it keeps me going and staves off my anxiety and panic... Mostly.

 

[Bowerbird]

My parent(s) is one thing that's kept me from ctb most of my life so far (got my first thoughts about sabotaging myself at age 10 and from there, things just got worse over the years), but it won't be working much longer... now that i'm an adult and im on my own.

i feel like im hitting the age where mental illness starts to rear its head (trust me, my bloodline is RAMPANT with mental illness and insanity... and I definitely inherited those faulty genes, like some kind of cursed heirloom.) and i'm scared, i don't want to lose control or lash out at anyone who is innocent... (like people in my family have done before!) i feel like im a budding danger to society and i just want to lock myself up or do something before its too late, because i'm afraid one day im gonna lose control, spiral downward and end up as another "autistic trans freak goes insane, loses control and does something bad/hurts other people" case. (and my own people already struggle and get fearmongered about and treated like monsters... for just existing... without me adding to it)