Help How to overcome the fear of failing an attempt?

[sleeplessboyinbed]

My method is full suspension hanging, but i can't bring myself to do it. I can't even touch the rope, im so scared. Im really just a coward and lazy and spineless... I hate myself for it. I tried to attempt last year, failed, and procrastinated till this year. It was partial, i didn't get caught but i had dots on my face and they noticed. My life gets worse by time and im anxious all day. I try to numb myself with things that used to help but it doesn't work anymore. I just hope something kills me because i can't do this anymore... Im so pathetic

 

[U. A.]

There's no cowardice in not wanting to do something that your entire biological entity is predisposed to avoid at all costs.