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catman

catman

Wizard
Oct 11, 2021
13
i have no idea why, but even with my reoccurring suicidal ideation or absolutely no drive to push my life forward or feeling of complete defeat, i had this thought recently that put me off.

i dont know why its so gross to me, like, obviously when you die you will eventually decompose, and its not like i will be inside of that body anymore for it to be of concern. but i was listening to this true crime podcast, about people finding this guy hanging in the woods decomposed, and it gives me this weird internal feeling

not that it should even be of concern to me that someone will find me in a state of decomposition. my roommate would find me not less than 24 hours after.

does anyone else struggle with those sorts of thoughts? and then i start to think about it all like its playing in my head

im aware its overthinking, but it still gets me. down to hear other peoples thoughts on it too
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,682
I tell myself I will not be alive at that point, it is not my problem. I will be free from suffering. However nobody should have to be found by some one else, there should be the option of euthanasia. It is cruel how we are denied that.
 
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catman

catman

Wizard
Oct 11, 2021
13
I tell myself I will not be alive at that point, it is not my problem. I will be free from suffering. However nobody should have to be found by some one else, there should be the option of euthanasia. It is cruel how we are denied that.
i agree. unfortunately theres not many places where its legal, much less for people where the desire doesnt come from a reason such as, theyre close to dying anyway, i.e. patients

unlucky for me i habitually overthink and anxiously consider everyone else before myself, it's hard to get over the thought of permanently traumatizing someone with finding my body. at least in this case i would still look like a person
 
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Circles

Visionary
Sep 3, 2018
2,297
Well we'll all die some day and there is literally nothing we can do about anything especially about what's going to happen to our bodies. I know that's shallow advice and I hate saying that too but it's true. Think that life/death are like uncontrollable waves we're all on and we cannot control the tide only how we react if that makes any sense.
 
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