How to deal with atypical ugliness ?

[JaiLuLesCGU]

This thread may sound ridiculous to people who deal with more serious problems in life (sexual abuse, disabilities and so on) but the suffering is not less real.

I have a very unusual body for a male which makes me hate myself, apart from that my life would be normal and maybe enjoyable. My doctor thinks I have Klinefelter syndrom but I have yet to take medical testing.
That's not about being unattractive, I would have been fine with a unnoticeable silhouette, below average but that's worse than that. As a consequence, I avoid as much as possible to socialize, I have no friends, had no relationship and I realized that I tend to hate people because I do not feel loved. At first I tried to convince myself that people were worthless but this is just a cognitive dissonance to cope with my ugliness which makes me uneasy in front of people eyes.
I wanted to convince myself I have just not to care about others but it is not possible. After all we are a social specy, we cannot go on full misanthropic mode.
I would be fine if there were a magical drug to be fully uninhibited and live in autonomy but that does not exist

 

[toasterbath]

i'm sorry it sounds like you don't really have any type of support system. i get that life is easier when you look above average or fit into societal standards, but there are people out there that don't care about that stuff. i hope you can find friends that accept you. everyone deserves to feel accepted and supported and i'm sorry for what ur going through

 

[bmfd__]

I don't necessarily think I'm a-typical ugly, but I consider myself far from being attractive. I try to be the best version of myself. I take care of myself by going to the gym, having good hygiene and skin care routine, etc. Obviously doesn't change the way I look, but it does make me feel more confident and better about myself.

 

[Bodydysmorphia]

I know how you feel, I have bodydysmorphia so I'm struggling with the same issues.

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/kill-myself-because-too-ugly-body-dysmorphia.93100/

On top of that, I have poor social skills like you described. But I don't need that many people in my life anyway and I have had very bad experience with people who abused me just because I am more of a "passive guy" who doesn't always voice their opinion loudly (a.k.a say no if I don't want something/ stand up for myself). I've become very cautious and somewhat misanthropic like you said based on the experiences I had in my life. You don't need that many friends/people around you just some good ones who accept you the way you are.