How to be at peace with death(suicide)?

[Lifetimepunishment]

I know it's kinda silly and whining. Please don't mock me. I am really nervous and scared. I can't take any hardcore(dramatic)methods.and some kind of suicide relating drug is strictly rugulated here.i hate pain and am anxious about what's after death.i know I am not the first one posting this kind of topic .but bear with me.Please share some insights. I very appreciated you any input.i need to fucking calm down. If you're willing,please also share what method you are gonna take and what's your mood for that. Really really thank you to all.

 

[Mr2005]

Thankyou for being so considerate. Too considerate really. Nothing wrong with what you wrote at all I appreciate your honesty. If it loses you street cred in the death club then just what kind of place is this?

 

[LastFlowers]

To be honest, I will never be at peace with suicide. I don't consider it a choice, just another corner I have been backed into by life.

It's just an end to everything. I think anyone considering taking their own life should do so with no expectations that there is anything better waiting for them on the other side, or that there is even an "other side" at all.

I don't know how I will end up taking my own life yet but I need to get a move on. I prefer a method that will destroy my body but I doubt I will gain access to such a thing. I wish I had a gun, and the correct type. I don't however, so I will probably end up jumping or-if desperate and in a stupor-end up sticking a knife in my throat. The latter of which would probably not be successful but I'm just anticipating my possible breakdown because I've come close these past few weeks. I get really antsy when I just can't take the suffering for one second longer.. even though I know there are still things I need to take care of before I go and that I need to ensure that I actually die and do not become a vegetable or paralyzed. I thought about N and SN, and hanging, but I have come to the conclusion that I need something rather instant. I can't lay down and think about the poison running through my veins. And I can't bare the feeling of losing oxygen.
..At the end of the day there's just not anything comfortable about this. It is not sanctioned in society and we don't have access to peaceful methods or planned out exits that form any type of guarantee.

 

[Lifetimepunishment]

Thankyou for being so considerate. Too considerate really. Nothing wrong with what you wrote at all I appreciate your honesty. If it loses you street cred in the death club then just what kind of place is this?

Thank you. I am very sensitive and weak. I wish I wasn't

 

[H2H2]

Hang myself completely drunk in the middle of a tantrum. I just cant picture myself leaving this world calmly. I would freak out with the inmediate quietness just after having drank N for example.

 

[spanishguy22]

I know it's kinda silly and whining. Please don't mock me. I am really nervous and scared. I can't take any hardcore(dramatic)methods.and some kind of suicide relating drug is strictly rugulated here.i hate pain and am anxious about what's after death.i know I am not the first one posting this kind of topic .but bear with me.Please share some insights. I very appreciated you any input.i need to fucking calm down. If you're willing,please also share what method you are gonna take and what's your mood for that. Really really thank you to all.

That was me when I first started realizing that I needed to ctb two years ago.
Now I have become much more "comfortable" lesss anxious and its a relief option but but dont get me wrong it still feels like shit it turns out like that

 

[Stan]

I have a list split into two. Reasons to stay and reasons to go. Only have a couple of entries in the 'to stay' part and many for the 'to go'. I know there is an argument for quality of quantity in this situation that 1 good reason to stay can trump 1000 reasons to go, but in my case its not. So that list helps me in times of doubt

 

[Mr2005]

Thank you. I am very sensitive and weak. I wish I wasn't

I think you're strong. It's much easier to treat it like it's no big deal. We're all scared or we wouldn't be here

 

[JulienSorel]

I have ordered N and feel ready to move on.

I have had suicide on my mind for some time now and have done a lot of things to ensure I am ready for it. Although what was left of my life did get the rug pulled out from under it, I did the best I can with all I had and I don't have too many regrets.