How many times have you earnestly attempted?

[femcelloser]

I'm curious because of my experiences. I've attempted to ctb a few times when I was in middle/highschool. Maybe have OD'd like 5 times and have ended up ok the next day. My most recent attempt was like 2 years ago. I'm curious if you guys have also attempted a bunch? Was it earlier in your life or later?

 

[ma0]

I've had some practice attempts with partial hanging, but never anything serious.

Mainly because I'm a fucking pussy.

 

[femcelloser]

I've had some practice attempts with partial hanging, but never anything serious.

Mainly because I'm a fucking pussy.

I'm pretty sure I've shorted myself the necessary amount of pills I'd need to die when ODing because I am also a fucking pussy lol

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

I was very serious and made an attempt at 15 trying to jump out of the car when I was a youth scared of my abusive parents, but I was more so doing so at 14 with melontonin, and I was trying to hang myself with checkers, and have more attempts with tyneol and eyedrops, poison seeds, helium a year ago at 20... I'm now 21, I want so badly to have a successful death... So fifth time the charm :D

I'm pretty sure I've shorted myself the necessary amount of pills I'd need to die when ODing because I am also a fucking pussy lol

I haven't been scared of dying yet and want to fall down the stairs someday if I am by myself and there are cars where I live that have accidents... I'm gonna try and make an attempt someday in a few weeks but I have pills I have been taking and have been happy to feel short term affects from as self harming to control my desire for death if I cant deal with being alive ^^... It times time, don't worry about being a pussy, but don't let anyone force you either until you have it under control. I have finally learned how to have my fear under control and its from boredom and not wanting to be here so badly...

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

At least a dozen times over the last 20+ years.

 

[loneloser]

What does earnestly really mean?

 

[SNastablesalt]

I'm curious because of my experiences. I've attempted to ctb a few times when I was in middle/highschool. Maybe have OD'd like 5 times and have ended up ok the next day. My most recent attempt was like 2 years ago. I'm curious if you guys have also attempted a bunch? Was it earlier in your life or later?

3 real attempts, an infinite amount of impulsive ones, stopped counting them after summer last year

 

[-nobodyknows-]

I stopped counting

 

[depressedinsomniac]

What does earnestly really mean?

a true attempt at ctb not like merely thinking about it or ideation..,

 

[FuneralCry]

I havent properly as I lack the option to painlessly free myself from this torturous, cruel existence that was so tragically imposed, the fact that trying to die can go wrong and lead to way worse torture and agony is so horrific to me, it's just so cruel and dreadful how I was forced into this existence that just causes suffering all for the sake of it and problems there were never a need for yet I'm denied the option to simply cease existing in peace that is guatanteed as non-existence is all I hope for. It's all that's desirable to me, I just hope and wish to never suffer ever again, existence is an abomination to me that causes an immense amount of harm and it's just painful to be enslaved in this existence, I wish I could just fall into an eternal dreamless sleep and never suffer ever again as I'd always prefer to not exist than suffer all for the sake of it just to be tortured by old age, the fact that there is no limit as to how much agony an human can feel is horrifying to me.

 

[trapdoor]

Twice (July 2023, March 2024). Looking back, both times (antidepressant/sleeping meds OD), I didn't take as much as I knew I needed to because deep down I didn't want it to work. Both times I ended up in the mental hospital. In August-September of 2023 I was in rehab.

 

[Namelesa]

At least 8 times now. Two times trying to runaway from family to get on top and jump off a tall apartment building. Once trying deodorant. Once trying night night without the appropriate items for it. Once trying to suffocate in a plastic bag. 3 times trying partial hanging.

 

[Forveleth]

Made myself laugh looking at my response here:

How many times have you attempted to ctb?

I've been curious about this for a while. Feel free to comment your experiences.

sanctioned-suicide.net

as since then I have had like 20 attempts with partial, one of which almost worked.

If we're talking about real, real attempts maybe 3? If we're talking pretty serious, 12. Half-ass attempts like, 50.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

0

 

[WhiteRaven]

At least once I tried to hang myself but I didn't pass out and was able to get myself down. I don't know if the other counts though. I was at of a building on the edge, but I got scared and got down bc my dad called me asking where I was.

 

[Arin]

A couple times. First time I almost blacked out but I was interrupted. Second (most recently, in 2025) I just ended up choking and gagging and had to stop since it hurt like hell. I want to try again but I'm scared, and I don't have any of the right material, and I'm scared someone'll find me.

 

[L9my]

1

 

[sadalways]

Once, a very long time ago. The rope was way too thin.

 

[toomanymistakes]

Once. Before I knew how poor the rate of ODing was.

 

[Daxter777]

Once. I did it in highschool. I drank a ton of pills and nothing happened.

 

[longtheriverrun]

Three times; I backed out almost instantly every single time because I was too afraid

 

[DylanNeverEnding]

Twice

 

[SchrodingerIsDed]

I have 7 total hospitalizations.

3 severe attempts where I ended up in a coma or otherwise required surgery to save my life. I liked to slice myself up and OD on poisons and OTC meds. All ineffective, hence me being here. I hadn't realized how little chance there is to die by cutting or OTC meds.

I'm honestly surprised I'm still alive. But I'm the persistent type. I escalate each time. This one will be the last. I will make sure of that.