Discussion How long were u thinking about ctb,before u set a plan and date?

[zadig777]

1)
hello all its me again
i have been thinking about death and life for the past few 2-3 months mb
extensively the last 2 weeks
i have some mental pictures of how i wanna cbt,but have never thought about it serious enough and set a date
i wonder,for how long have u been thinking about this matter(life,death,suicide) before u finally realised that u made up ur mind,set a date,detailed plan and ur convinced and rdy to ctb?

2)
also i wouldn't mind suggestions about my particular case:

i am afraid of pain and that stuff,so im pretty shure shure that my natural instinct will work out and stop me if i try partial hanging etc..

i also know that im a thrill seeker,so i will do the impulsive thing just for fun-cowboy like hanging with moving the chair below u
after that i know that my survival instinct will kick in,but it will be too late and i will do it
thats all i know and that is good

the problem is that i live in a flat and idk where cani pull of that hanging
i also dont know where to buy proper rope for that,since i live in balkans and can't order online idk where to buy
regards

 

[zadig777]

why is no one answering? lol