How I did not kill myself and recovered

[unkuto]

Hi, I haven't been here for a while and I though I'll come back and give some update to people.
You can check my profile and see my previous thread.
But in short I was never suicidal ever and I made decision to drink SN because Russia started war against Ukraine and I realized my life is over. It's going to be either quick death or never ending hell
I bought SN in march of last year and I had it in my cupboard for 7 months,
When I felt especially bad I always looked at it thinking this is my way to end suffering.

In the end of September last year Russia begin to draft people to forcefully send them to Ukraine. They tried to draft me too because they came to my house looking for me.
In the light of these events I made difficult decision to leave Russia. I was so limited. I couldnt buy foreign currency from Russia or use Russian cards to even buy tickets out,
So I had to travel to nearby country to open bank account, get card, exchange money and get the hell out from this hell,

I'm in the US right now and I'm ok, I instantly felt better as soon as I left Russia and suicidal though never visit me.
I was so close to ending my life and If I did I wouldn't experience what I experienced in last 5 months,

Right now I have a really beautiful boyfriend here and things are more or less ok,

 

[Deo volente]

Wow, that is really inspiring, thank you for sharing. I hope your life continues to improve while you are in the US. Do you like it there?

 

[unkuto]

Wow, that is really inspiring, thank you for sharing. I hope your life continues to improve while you are in the US. Do you like it there?

Nobody is trying to send me to war against my will anymore and nobody is trying to kill me for being gay so that's a huge plus already.
But it's hard to adapt to a new country and start living from scratch especially when I'm 33 already. But I can do that I think,

 

[Deo volente]

Nobody is trying to send me to war against my will anymore and nobody is trying to kill me for being gay so that's a huge plus already.
But it's hard to adapt to a new country and start living from scratch especially when I'm 33 already. But I can do that I think,

Well that sounds like a good start at least! It must have been hard to get there. How did you make it?

I read an old post of yours and I can't imagine getting myself out of a situation like that. I think if you were able to do that, you can make anything you want of yourself.

 

[RhapsodyinBerserk]

Congratulations on your fresh start. I hope things continue to get better for you here. There's so much that can change with a new perspective/outlook on life.

 

[DerBipolarBär]

Nobody is trying to send me to war against my will anymore and nobody is trying to kill me for being gay so that's a huge plus already.
But it's hard to adapt to a new country and start living from scratch especially when I'm 33 already. But I can do that I think,

I moved to San Francisco when I was 33 and stayed for 14 years. I find US culture is very welcoming to strangers, very much more so than the many other cultures I had experienced. If you move to San Francisco, you will find the biggest gay community in the world (at least as of 2015...).

One way or the other - congrats for making the right move!