How do you experience the suicide process within yourself?

[DoomCry]

Does the idea of committing suicide make you feel comfortable? Do you think you can follow all your protocols to end it? Will you take something for fear on the last day? Like alcohol or drugs?

 

[divinemistress36]

No , it seems pretty complicated I will have to take a bunch of benzos

 

[JayJay]

What worries me the most is if I failed my attempt and either become paralyzed or have permanent brain damage. I don't know if I can write a letter saying that if I'm found alive in a vegatative state, I wish for medically assisted suicide. I'd think the doctors and nurses would keep me alive and I would have to live the rest of my days in a nursing home shitting in diapers and unable to move or walk freely. Also in the states it's not uncommon for patients in nursing homes to be abused physically/sexually. That's a fate far worse than death. My last drug would probably be heroin so I can feel the best euphoria before getting off this rock.

 

[Big_Eal]

this is a good one , trying to put your mind in white and do it wont be easy , a boost would be necessary , i had two experiences before , one was detonated by high doses of THC , i was super ultra high , i was in a building looking for the roof , coulndt find it , at the end to summary the story i was pepper sprayed by a homeless , lost everything that night cause i was ready to jump, the second one was detonated by a discussion with my ex , again i was paranoid but didnt have anything in my hand to do it , finished in the hospital for two days. last year i put a date to hang myself but didnt have the balls ,now , i ordered SN , i think i can do it cause is a passive CTB , its easy to drink that than jump from a bridge , so lets see what happen the next days

 

[biosphere]

I wish I could take something for it, but alcohol and drugs would just make me throw up more.. I won't have any metos so I'd need all the absorption I can get.

 

[relapse]

Thinking and planning it out brings me a sense of sick happiness, but I know that if my desire to die is lesser than my fear of pain I probably will stop mid attempt and freak out. Alcohol would make it easier on me, I've got a lower tolerance. But also makes it a lot more likely for me to mess something up in the process

 

[Hollowman]

I'm so far gone I can't feel fear anymore. So no, substances aren't necessary.

 

[Chr0nicAnhedonic]

When I attempted partial hanging, I had a couple drinks and went through the steps like it was routine. I'm amazed with how little I felt about it during the process. I still don't really understand how I failed. I was certain and ready to die, but I just couldn't stay in the position I needed to long enough.

At the very least, though, I feel relatively confident when the time comes again.

 

[FuneralCry]

In this existence so cruel, torturous and futile that just causes all this endless suffering until all is finally gone and forgotten in non-existence anyway ceasing to exist is the only relief for me and is all I see as positive, I just want to never suffer ever again and I'll just always see it as something so dreadful and terrible to be enslaved in this existence suffering all for the sake of it, to me existing really is only suffering.

I suffer just from being conscious in this existence I always saw as the most terrible tragic mistake and as long as I exist I'll just wish for non-existence, the only relief for me could lie in never suffering ever again and I'd always prefer to not exist than be tortured in this cruel, futile existence just to die in agony from old age suffering so much all for the sake of it. I'd just never wish for the suffering of existing rather all I hope for is to not exist which is why I see so much cruelty in how peaceful death is so harmfully denied with the torture and suffering of human existence seen as to force and prolong no matter what, I wish it's not a crime to wish to be free from this existence that was so tragically imposed where I'm just waiting to not exist anyway and I'll always see existing as just waiting for death, it's just dreadful unnecessary suffering and cruelty all for the sake of it.