ScaredCutter
₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊ Finding a Reason ₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊
- Oct 16, 2025
- 45
i struggle with loving myself and being proud of anything ive done. i can be proud of some things but i usually deny a lot of things and think its all just nothing burgers. im unable to look at myself in a mirror, stand on a scale, get clothes i really love, go out, be in an environment where theres people. im always judging myself and others around me, im highly focused on appearances, if i think someone doesnt "look good" itll make me feel better but for a while until i see someone who "looks better". im always focused on looks because the internet blah blah and i used to pretty addicted to nsfw material when i was around 11/12 years old so my mindset on bodies, looks and what not is warped and will likely not change. i hate body positivity stuff because it all feels fake to me and just looks like something to get humiliated for. whenever i see negative comments too on people who look unattractive i also focus on those, im addicted to being online. i used to scroll on edtwt because i wanted to lose weight forcefully and whenever i saw bodies posts, inspos or bodychecks, i feel so jealous because im unattractive.
i have been told to forget about what ppl think of me, im beautiful in my own ways, and whatever else ive been told (i tend to forget things). i cant think positively to myself since ill just find stuff or remember things and fall right back into the same mindset.
my view on what "attractive" is, skinny, soft long hair, long fingers, clean nails that can grow long, able to wear anything and look good, skinny hands, visible wrist bone, /or sometimes my view may be, semi thick thighs, maybe c-d cup size, also able to wear anything, pretty nails, thick lips. well, it may be unrealistic to a point but, i have seen posts of ppl who do fit parts of it.
i always feel the need to fit my own standards. if i dont look good, whats the point of putting effort into anything, i wont be recognised.
i apologise for making forums where i mention the same stuff
i have been told to forget about what ppl think of me, im beautiful in my own ways, and whatever else ive been told (i tend to forget things). i cant think positively to myself since ill just find stuff or remember things and fall right back into the same mindset.
my view on what "attractive" is, skinny, soft long hair, long fingers, clean nails that can grow long, able to wear anything and look good, skinny hands, visible wrist bone, /or sometimes my view may be, semi thick thighs, maybe c-d cup size, also able to wear anything, pretty nails, thick lips. well, it may be unrealistic to a point but, i have seen posts of ppl who do fit parts of it.
i always feel the need to fit my own standards. if i dont look good, whats the point of putting effort into anything, i wont be recognised.
i apologise for making forums where i mention the same stuff
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