I feel blocked from things that would make suicide convenient. Like guns(I'm a felon/thief),Drugs that would be easy to overdose on etc. Like this is such a gaslight that I am being forced to stay alive against my will. In jail I'd be humiliated for not eating ,in the psych ward they put a feeding tube in my nose. So willpower isn't enough. When I get close to convenient death things warp . So I'm alive another miserable disgusting day to be someone else's joke. I'm so disgusted that I can't kill myself. Not only that but I'm gaslit because people always have this bullshit way of acting like I'm free to kill myself,free to live etc and I'm not. Literally life only works one specific way and literally nothing happens . I'm just a pawn following orders and then they pretend like I gained freedom in it. People die on purpose and by accident yet people like me who wants to die and should have never been born are alive as societies joke!
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Sergeant45
Member
- Jun 11, 2025
- 86
I can truly relate. I know it's not a lot, but please know someone here can really relate!!!!! You put my thoughts just perfectly right there.
I am blocked from these methods locally as well due to having done things I am no longer proud of when I was younger.
People think suicide works like this: ''ok we will just go and do it, done'' but it's not true. They all underestimate it, so, so, much. Death is as fucking hard as birth, and ''normal'' people will never understand unless they go through this too.
I am blocked from these methods locally as well due to having done things I am no longer proud of when I was younger.
People think suicide works like this: ''ok we will just go and do it, done'' but it's not true. They all underestimate it, so, so, much. Death is as fucking hard as birth, and ''normal'' people will never understand unless they go through this too.
