Discussion How do I set my mind in a way that minimizes the survival instinct?

[Dyingsoon]

What would you do, and what is your general plan to dull the survival instinct when you decide to CTB? Personally, I have N, which I strongly hope is still potent and effective. My life has been a living hell for the past 4 years, physically unbearable with many emotional scars, some of which are still fresh. I can't and don't want to imagine even a few more months of living like this. Please, share what plan you have to cope with SI.

 

[thrsgn]

Getting quite drunk is my plan personally

 

[wham311]

What would you do, and what is your general plan to dull the survival instinct when you decide to CTB? Personally, I have N, which I strongly hope is still potent and effective. My life has been a living hell for the past 4 years, physically unbearable with many emotional scars, some of which are still fresh. I can't and don't want to imagine even a few more months of living like this. Please, share what plan you have to cope with SI.

How did you get it

 

[divinemistress36]

Benzos

 

[Dyingsoon]

How did you get it

Years ago when it was still around

Benzos

Yeah I thought so too , but Benzos will interfere with the effect of N in my case. I also thought of getting drunk af but this is also another obstacle for the effect of my CTB method. It's ridiculous, idk, I Am suffering beyond belief , been getting worse for 4 years now. Last years was exceptionally awful and I am still around, against all logic

 

[DoomCry]

Years ago when it was still around

Yeah I thought so too , but Benzos will interfere with the effect of N in my case. I also thought of getting drunk af but this is also another obstacle for the effect of my CTB method. It's ridiculous, idk, I Am suffering beyond belief , been getting worse for 4 years now. Last years was exceptionally awful and I am still around, against all logic

Benzodiazepines have absolutely no effect on nembutal. Benzodiazepines are central nervous system depressants just like nembutal but in this case if taken before taking nebutar they facilitate the gesture making it more acceptable for the person.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I'm guessing you have 2 bottles N from D ? U think it is still as potent?

How many years old?

 

[Dyingsoon]

I've read that benzos and N affect the same brain receptors and hence N might take much longer to take effect

Benzodiazepines have absolutely no effect on nembutal. Benzodiazepines are central nervous system depressants just like nembutal but in this case if taken before taking nebutar they facilitate the gesture making it more acceptable for the person.

I'm guessing you have 2 bottles N from D ? U think it is still as potent?

How many years old?

Yeah , two bottles. A couple of years old now but I've stored it more or less properly. I really count it's okay because I have no other exit option. I might give it a test drive with 2-3 ml in the days to come and see if it works.

 

[Linda]

I think the way to do it is to think through, in advance, and probably many times, every step of what you plan to do. Ask yourself whether you could actually do each step. If the answer is "No", you need to rethink your plan. If the answer is "Yes" - and you are sure that it is Yes - there is a good chance that you will be able to do it in reality.
I have often asked myself that question, since my own method will require me to stick to my plan, probably for several days, alone, and (for the last few days) deep in the wilderness, and cold. I would prefer to go out with my senses clear, but because I can't be completely certain how I would cope, I would probably carry a bottle of whisky with me, just in case I find things difficult near the end.

 

[Thomas599]

What would you do, and what is your general plan to dull the survival instinct when you decide to CTB? Personally, I have N, which I strongly hope is still potent and effective. My life has been a living hell for the past 4 years, physically unbearable with many emotional scars, some of which are still fresh. I can't and don't want to imagine even a few more months of living like this. Please, share what plan you have to cope with SI.

As long as you haven't done something stupid like keep the bottles of N on your window sill, N should be potent in UNOPENED bottles for 10+ years. No "testing" it, no opening it just to see what it tastes like, just keep it in a dark and dry location and it should be fine.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I've read that benzos and N affect the same brain receptors and hence N might take much longer to take effect


Yeah , two bottles. A couple of years old now but I've stored it more or less properly. I really count it's okay because I have no other exit option. I might give it a test drive with 2-3 ml in the days to come and see if it works.

if you test it with 2-3 ml could you tell me the results?

it would have to be at least 3 years old since N from D got stopped in early 2022.

As long as you haven't done something stupid like keep the bottles of N on your window sill, N should be potent in UNOPENED bottles for 10+ years. No "testing" it, no opening it just to see what it tastes like, just keep it in a dark and dry location and it should be fine.

I believe you but where did you find this out? i know they scrubbed most info on nembutal

 

[Dyingsoon]

As long as you haven't done something stupid like keep the bottles of N on your window sill, N should be potent in UNOPENED bottles for 10+ years. No "testing" it, no opening it just to see what it tastes like, just keep it in a dark and dry location and it should be fine.

I even read that it should be potent for around 20 years if stored properly. I have been storing it in my glass wall unit with it's door opened and no direct sunlight. I have no other ways to make sure that this is the real deal and it works if I don't take a sample out of it. As far as I know 2-3 ml is enough to assist a good night sleep and some people on the forum even passed out after 15-20 mines after trying a sample of their N

if you test it with 2-3 ml could you tell me the results?

it would have to be at least 3 years old since N from D got stopped in early 2022.

I believe you but where did you find this out? i know they scrubbed most info on nembutal

You are correct, it's around 3 years old when I come to think of it. I got it in spring 2022. I am not sure though how old it was back then, I didn't get info from D with the details , brand, expiry date, etc. There's still some info on N if you are interested, I can send you link for the particular threads :

The N Files 2.0

I'm having issues with Cashapp and can't buy the required amount to purchase N, they keep blocking my purchase for security reasons. Any other recommendations?

sanctioned-suicide.net

The N Files 2.0

*This is an updated and revised version of the original thread* I've been getting messages from different people, asking all sorts of questions about N from D. I thought it would be convenient to put as much info as I can together in one place to make things easier for people. Where to find -...

sanctioned-suicide.net

Stability of SN and N

I'd like to preface this to hopefully help people not make rash decisions due to the fear that their suicide method will go "bad" and they feel forced to take it before they truly want to. Freedom of choice means everything. There is a lot of misconception on here about how long both of these...

sanctioned-suicide.net

This is where I managed to gather some info from. I will try to let you guys know if I test the N, but it's not a promise. We will see how it goes.

I definitely want to do it, it's the right thing to do at the moment, no other option. I have a plan, a place, I know what is the regime before taking N and after. I am just scared, you know.... I don't wanna go but life has been forcing me for 4 long years now, and counting ....

I think the way to do it is to think through, in advance, and probably many times, every step of what you plan to do. Ask yourself whether you could actually do each step. If the answer is "No", you need to rethink your plan. If the answer is "Yes" - and you are sure that it is Yes - there is a good chance that you will be able to do it in reality.
I have often asked myself that question, since my own method will require me to stick to my plan, probably for several days, alone, and (for the last few days) deep in the wilderness, and cold. I would prefer to go out with my senses clear, but because I can't be completely certain how I would cope, I would probably carry a bottle of whisky with me, just in case I find things difficult near the end.

 

[hereornot]

Doing things that make you feel guilty helps for a short time, but I don't recommend it.

 

[Dyingsoon]

As I promised , a little update, here I am. After getting lung issues on top of everything else, I decided to CTB today. However SI kicked in really hard but only after I opened one of my N bottles and I was about to pour it into a cup. It's now been exposed to air so I guess I have a week tops before I have to throw it away.

I ended up testing 2 ml of it though. The taste is super bad, ngl, everything they say about it is true. Really bitter chemical taste which leaves a bad aftertaste which I mitigated with Beilis and a little bit of chocolate. I think it's definitely drinkable but it depends whether the particular person is able to put up with the awful taste.

Strange thing is it's been 30 minutes since I sampled it and the only thing I can feel is a bit of sleepines. But it's 3 AM where I live after all. Still not sure about how potent my N is but I will have to drink it nonetheless in the days to come. I am thinking about tomorrow.

Anyways, just wanted to let you guys know since you were interested.

 

[leandra]

If you have a feeling in the back of your mind that stops you from commiting then do no do it. Seek therapy, speak to your loved ones, help yourself somehow

 

[Dyingsoon]

If you have a feeling in the back of your mind that stops you from commiting then do no do it. Seek therapy, speak to your loved ones, help yourself somehow

I can see you said that with good intentions. However, the various physical issues I've been dealing with for the past four years have left me disabled, and I now have to completely rely on my parents to take care of me. I'm currently 30 years old and have been getting progressively worse—unable to get a job or have any kind of life.

Basically, what I do all day is try to survive, locked inside my house, unable to leave. I spend my last bits of energy just trying to make it through another day of immense suffering.

My quality of life isn't just zero—it's below that. I can't even find the right words to describe what I'm forced to endure. My body is a ruin. The doctors have destroyed both my life and my parents'

 

[Borderline13]

Could you please suggest me how would i obtain nembutal? I really need it and i think im gonna do a CTB soon too

 

[Dyingsoon]

Could you please suggest me how would i obtain nembutal? I really need it and i think im gonna do a CTB soon too

Sorry , can't help with that. Got mine years ago

 

[Borderline13]

Sorry , can't help with that. Got mine years ago

I really hate myself for not being around here at that time. But sleep well and hope you find peace. I really wanna follow you soon.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

As I promised , a little update, here I am. After getting lung issues on top of everything else, I decided to CTB today. However SI kicked in really hard but only after I opened one of my N bottles and I was about to pour it into a cup. It's now been exposed to air so I guess I have a week tops before I have to throw it away.

I ended up testing 2 ml of it though. The taste is super bad, ngl, everything they say about it is true. Really bitter chemical taste which leaves a bad aftertaste which I mitigated with Beilis and a little bit of chocolate. I think it's definitely drinkable but it depends whether the particular person is able to put up with the awful taste.

Strange thing is it's been 30 minutes since I sampled it and the only thing I can feel is a bit of sleepines. But it's 3 AM where I live after all. Still not sure about how potent my N is but I will have to drink it nonetheless in the days to come. I am thinking about tomorrow.

Anyways, just wanted to let you guys know since you were interested.

do you think the N is still potent? maybe you should have tested 3 ml?

 

[Dyingsoon]

do you think the N is still potent? maybe you should have tested 3 ml?

I think it should be potent. Papers say it degrades only a miniscule amount per year. I've had mine for 3 years but idk how old it was when I bought it. I think it definitely made me really sleepy , maybe I should have sampled 3 ml. My syringe is shit so I sampled twice 1 ml but it might have been a little less than that.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I plan to keep reminding myself how much I hate and fear life. I'm hoping that fear of living and old age will help me overcome the fear of attempting. I have a feeling it will be like doing other things in life that are necessary but that you don't want to do- going to the dentist, going in for an operation. You do them because you know it's for the greater good. I sort of see suicide like that. A necessary evil I will need to put myself through in order to spare myself the rest of my shitty life.

Plus, death itself is unavoidable and, I highly doubt natural death will be entirely peaceful. So, it feels like something I can't escape but, doing it sooner at least means I won't need to suffer so much life beforehand.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I think it should be potent. Papers say it degrades only a miniscule amount per year. I've had mine for 3 years but idk how old it was when I bought it. I think it definitely made me really sleepy , maybe I should have sampled 3 ml. My syringe is shit so I sampled twice 1 ml but it might have been a little less than that.

Are you going to use it when? Or test it again?