How do I know if I want to get better?

[borderline-feline]

I don't know if I wanna get better or not. I don't think I do, but I keep getting a desire to get better for the sake of my favorite person. How the hell do I figure this out?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Maybe you try it for a bit and see how it's making you feel.

 

[girlwithflaxenhair0]

I'm wondering the same thing, and I have a similar situation w my favorite person. I don't think I want to get better though because she's the only reason I would - besides that the future is just too sad and scary for me

 

[BojackHorseman]

I think I understand how you feel. It's difficult and confusing and I'm sorry you feel like that. I think you might feel like I do about my husband. I absolutely adore and love him more than anything in this world, and part of me wants to get better for him. But most of the time... I still feel a profound sadness in my chest that i cant explain and wont go away. I know that if it weren't for him and my dog, I'd have absolutely no desire to exist at all. I have a severe cognitive dissonance; I want to spend every moment for forever with my husband, and I also want to end my pain and hurt inside that refuses to leave me alone.

I think I read in a self help/psychology book that to truly get better, you have to get better for yourself and not others. But I also read that absolutely any reason to keep trying to live and get better is a valid reason to continue. Even if it's just to water the damn plants or see who wins the next superbowl. It said that even if your path to getting better starts off as being for someone else, if you want to stick with it and keep trying, you will eventually start doing it for yourself.

I wasn't trying to push toxic positivity, just something I've read. I have no real solution or advice, but I want to say that your not alone and I'm sorry you feel that way too. I hope you find peace.

 

[SVEN]

I guess you just keep going day to day (as so many of us do) until you find that you can't do it anymore.

 

[MyLifeisHell]

What's your idea of "getting better" look like to you?

 

[borderline-feline]

What's your idea of "getting better" look like to you?

For me, getting better looks like being happy, getting the right amount of sleep, not wanting to die, etc. I can't keep living the way that I am, but I can't stand the thought of hurting my favorite person. I'm really just a parasite.

 

[borderline-feline]

If your life circumstances allow for it, recover as best as you can even if your motivations aren't self derived. Better than being dead. As someone who's losing their safe grounding but wishes they could take suicide off the table for those who love me, I say go for it, try as hard as you can.

I don't know if recovery is possible for me. Meds haven't helped me, and therapy does nothing for me. I'll never be able to be independent since I can't work, so I don't really know if recovery is worth it for me.

 

[SadShroomie]

I believe is you feel you want to get better, no matter the reason, (it could be a person or job or tv you want to see the end of) any reason is reason enough in my opinion. Everyone has the right to choose if they want death or not, but I believe it's not a good idea to leave if you know you might have regrets about it.

 

[Lys_C15H25N3O_d3]

i also believe you wanna feel better, Some of us might feel a "burden to others". Dont let these feelings overtake you, if you still have others, maybe maintaining them near you (as opposed to withdrawing yourself from everyone, self-isolation) is a great way to recover. wish you the best of luck and support.