How do I get over the fear of people seeing my insincerity in a face to face conversation?

[V0latile]

I try and smile and appear genuine like I care what the other person is saying, but all the while, I'm struggling to hold the smile. I just don't care that much about other people, and I'm terrified of being discovered. I relate it to my abusive childhood. It's hard to believe that my life ended in infancy way before it really got a chance.

 

[TearyEyedQueen]

I'm the same in conversations. But to be honest with you, I don't think they really care either. From my experience, most people are also fake and don't care that much unless the situation is meaningful to them. I'm also like that from the abuse I received from peers in childhood so to me it's mostly a fake protection mask so I don't get bullied anymore.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

I smile, nod, listen and play ball. But in my head I'm just wishing they'd stop talking to me and go about their business. @TearyEyedQueen got it right, most people don't really care either way. They just want to brag about how fake their life and happiness is.

 

[CFLoser]

Go into the conversation purposefully showing the insecurity on your face.

i don't mean "don't hide it" I mean force it. You'll very quickly get used to it and then the insecurity is gone.

whoever you're talking to, fuck them, show ur insecurity and use that interaction to level up lol.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Go into the conversation purposefully showing the insecurity on your face.

i don't mean "don't hide it" I mean force it. You'll very quickly get used to it and then the insecurity is gone.

whoever you're talking to, fuck them, show ur insecurity and use that interaction to level up lol.

Not a bad idea honestly. But it depends on the person and situation obviously. With random people you can do whatever almost.

 

[V0latile]

Go into the conversation purposefully showing the insecurity on your face.

i don't mean "don't hide it" I mean force it. You'll very quickly get used to it and then the insecurity is gone.

whoever you're talking to, fuck them, show ur insecurity and use that interaction to level up lol.

Insincerity, not insecurity.

 

[Moonicide]

Luckily I'm not around people enough that I have to fake it on a daily basis. I only put on a mask when I'm at my appointments for therapy and see my psychiatrist. But to be fair, I'm also the type of person to smile and laugh, then suddenly burst into tears... But the thing is, with friends it's different. My friends are very aware of my struggles and when I don't smile or laugh, it doesn't mean I'm not happy for them and they know that. If these are people you can be vocal with and just be like, hey, I'm having a bad day, but I just want to let you know how happy I am for you / proud of you. That seems to do the trick. Because you are validating them while also expressing how you're feeling... But communicating with people in general can be such a complex task. All of us are usually tired and just want to go home after it's all said and done.

Like you I've also dealt with childhood abuse and it impacts how I communicate with others, right down to how I behave physically... I was out in the city with my friend one day. and I always kept walking behind her or just hiding away. She kept asking me why I was doing that, if I was okay, etc. But then she realized it was due to the trauma I've experienced. I never knew that it was even like that until she pointed it out. Another thing I tend to do is apologize for no reason, always. We were hanging out in her apartment and all she did was look in my direction, and I was so quick to say, "I'm sorry." To which she replied, "Why are you even saying sorry? I just took one glance at you and you're apologizing, why is that?"

I hate how our childhood fucks with our wiring. And I am so sorry you had to deal with that as well.

Sending you lots of love and support.