How do I fight the feelings of worthlessness?

[Wolf Girl]

When you go through rejections and failures that make you feel worthless, like being fired, being ghosted, failing to develop the skills you want, being ignored in a crisis, or whatever... How do you fight the feelings?

Everyone repeats the platitude, "your self-worth has to come from you" or whatever. But when I ask how to do this, they simply stare at me or tell me something about looking inward or some bullshit that they know full well means nothing.

It hurts so much. It hurts knowing that they don't care if I die.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

For me, it was useless, so I quit trying. When someone insults me in a way that cuts deeply, I enjoy the shiver of pain that washes through me, and I accept them as being correct. I'm worse than worthless. I'm a lightening rod for hatred and punishment. So be it. I hope you find a better way to cope than I did.

 

[XKZyn]

When you go through rejections and failures that make you feel worthless, like being fired, being ghosted, failing to develop the skills you want, being ignored in a crisis, or whatever... How do you fight the feelings?

Everyone repeats the platitude, "your self-worth has to come from you" or whatever. But when I ask how to do this, they simply stare at me or tell me something about looking inward or some bullshit that they know full well means nothing.

It hurts so much. It hurts knowing that they don't care if I die.

Well... I got fired yesterday and feel like shit, worthless, as you said. It's different from person to person but I just tend to listen to music or start writing down how I feel in my journal, or play a game to distract myself from the feeling although something tells me it's not a distraction you're looking for but a solution. I believe it's best to do something with family or enjoy your favorite show or book. Hope your feelings don't disturb your rest, we all could use good rest at night. (Or day)

 

[StrawberryRed]

When I feel worthless I remember that my purpose is not to prove my worth to other people. That other people are just as flawed as myself. To base your worth on other people's opinions is to place everybody else above you/as better than you. When I realized this just wasn't true, sure it didn't fully solve the issue but it did help. Ive ghosted, ignored and rejected other people before, if any of these people came back and told me their self-image was ruined because of it , I would be shocked. Who gives a fuck what I think? Im just a regular person, idk what im doing. Why wouldnt u just forget about me and move on? In that same way why should I take to heart what other people think? Why shouldn't I just forget about it and move on? What makes them so special? Because I say they are? Who gives a fuck what I say?

For internal stuff like failure or doubts, I've failed so often and so publicly that I've just learn to move past it and keep going. Find something else to do quickly. Somethings don't work out and some do, its just life. I remember how I've failed before and how im over that now, and i realize that i will probably get over this and probably fail again too. I will keep failing as long as I live, all across the world there are people failing. At their dreams, failing their families, their hobbies, their jobs. There is nothing special about my failure. My failures are nothing interesting or worth thinking about. Honestly, who cares? Its like stubbing your toe. It happens some times to everybody, its probably going to happen your whole life. But after a couple seconds of pain, you let go and forget all about it. You go and find something else to do. If anybody else starts pointing out your failures, they are a loser that wants to bring people down to their level. Ignore them

I know this is easier said than done. It took me years of going through these exacts thought to fully internalize this way off thinking. Also I expect very little of myself. I have dreams, but if I don't make it its fine. At least I can say I tried. Not everyone can say that. So when i fail it makes it easier to brush off and say " well I did my best". I go into everything expecting nothing. IDK if this is healthier mindset but personally its really worked stave off worthlessness.

 

[Pluto]

 

[The Morningstar]

Reframing works a little for me:

Ghosted?
Nah, you dodged a bullet from an immature person.

Ignored?
Well, you know who the real ones aren't, and knowledge is power.

Failed to develop a skill?
You know what's not working; time to try a different route.

Fired?
You'll meet new people at your next job; potential new friends, or even—while I personally do NOT recommend this—a new romantic interest.
(A note on that last one: when you are about to switch jobs, if there was anyone you WERE working with who you are soon NOT to be working with anymore that you had a crush on, this is the best time IMO to tell them. If they reject you, fine, you will never see them again anyway. If you date and it ends poorly, then it will not spill into your workplace. If it goes well, then hey, it went well!)

 

[alwaysalone]

As trite as it sounds you have to stop allo2ing others to determine your worth. Essentially stop caring what others think about you. I learned this a long time ago. I am not egotistical or arrogant but I know that my worth isn't dependent on idiots who can't spell, barely read and can't comprehend simple ideas. Lol