How can one deal with random cruelty?

[TheOrangeEatsCreeps]

Moments ago, I was checking social media and received a message from an account that I was unfamiliar with and had no prior chat history with. Message read: "hi loser". Hardly a high-stakes, deathblow-type situation, but now afterwards I find myself in a panic, going through a list in my head of everyone that could possibly hate me. I haven't had any bizarre drama, or friend group mistakes, or whatever for many years, and it's entirely possible that I've never interacted with this person. But if I have, that means this fully anonymous person has been holding an obsessive grudge against me for enough time that I have zero memory of them. And so, what's to stop them from escalating? I'm trying to just pass through it with beer and cigarettes, but it strikes a particular nerve in me. It'll be stressing me out for days. Has anyone had this issue and figured out how to successfully cope?

 

[ForgottenAgain]

There was a time when I had bad people trying to find information about me online. I have always been very anonymous online, especially after having created my own website and community.

It is very scary when something like this happens. What I did was delete all my social media and increase the privacy protection on all sites/apps that I use. I made sure to not be possible for people to discover me through my email, deleted my surname in all the websites, removed all posts that I may have shared, changed profile pictures to be of animals so I'm not identified, changed usernames, etc.

Now, you may not need all of this. I did this because I managed a community and there are bad apples and some people told me to my face they would find me and kill me. However, I would encourage anyone to increase their security settings on the apps/websites they use the most. Even on things like LinkedIn I have increased the security. On apps where there is messaging, only people I know can message me, things like Discord for example. I would recommend going through all security and privacy settings and changing things to a level that makes you more comfortable.

 

[LifeQuitter]

Maybe they're being sarcastic? Have you replied to them yet?

 

[Kavka]

That sucks.

Rationally, I wouldn't care if someone sent me a message like that. In general, I don't care about the opinions of people who randomly harass people. In reality though I know it would bother me more than I'd like to admit. Who is this guy and why?

My first thought was that it could be a scam account? Everyone knows not to reply to beautiful women who start flirting out of nowhere, so maybe this is a new strategy? Preying on someone's pride and confidence; I was a loser like you, but then I brought crypto! Have you texted back?

Does the profile have a photo? You might try using a reverse image search engine to see if the photo has been used elsewhere on the internet.

 

[TheOrangeEatsCreeps]

That sucks.

Rationally, I wouldn't care if someone sent me a message like that. In general, I don't care about the opinions of people who randomly harass people. In reality though I know it would bother me more than I'd like to admit. Who is this guy and why?

My first thought was that it could be a scam account? Everyone knows not to reply to beautiful women who start flirting out of nowhere, so maybe this is a new strategy? Preying on someone's pride and confidence; I was a loser like you, but then I brought crypto! Have you texted back?

Does the profile have a photo? You might try using a reverse image search engine to see if the photo has been used elsewhere on the internet.

Yeah, it's the mystery of it that bugs me the most. No profile picture, newly created account, but the username was also crude so I doubt it would help with scamming anyone

There was a time when I had bad people trying to find information about me online. I have always been very anonymous online, especially after having created my own website and community.

It is very scary when something like this happens. What I did was delete all my social media and increase the privacy protection on all sites/apps that I use. I made sure to not be possible for people to discover me through my email, deleted my surname in all the websites, removed all posts that I may have shared, changed profile pictures to be of animals so I'm not identified, changed usernames, etc.

Now, you may not need all of this. I did this because I managed a community and there are bad apples and some people told me to my face they would find me and kill me. However, I would encourage anyone to increase their security settings on the apps/websites they use the most. Even on things like LinkedIn I have increased the security. On apps where there is messaging, only people I know can message me, things like Discord for example. I would recommend going through all security and privacy settings and changing things to a level that makes you more comfortable.

First off, very sorry to hear that. I think there really are types of people that feel entitled to inflict endless cruelty over any small slight or perceived/imagined abnormality, and a lot of them gravitate towards the internet. What you described sounds completely undeserved, and I'm glad you got some type of peace now. I think I'll do exactly what you did, if this escalates.

Maybe they're being sarcastic? Have you replied to them yet?

I just blocked. Can't think of anyone I know, and would want to talk to, that would greet me like that.

 

[Heartaches]

Silencing specific words or hashtags so they are not shown to you can reduce a lot of stress and make your experience on social media more manageable. Do not hesitate to silence or block as you see fit, you do not owe explanations to anybody. Some sites also allow you to private your account or have personalized settings so you don't receive unwanted attention (like not showing your account recommended on the app or not appearing on Google's results). Try to tinker with those.

Recognizing that something hurt you is important, as small as insignificant as it may seem, it is completely valid.

Sometimes I write about it on my personal journal or record an audio of me speak about an experience and how it made me feel. It can help you process and vent those emotions. Talking about it with someone you trust can also be very helpful and healing. Taking a walk can help too.

It could take a couple of days or more, but remember that it will pass.​