Today i missed the appointment with my therapist/psychologist because i couldn't sleep last night, and felt down the whole day, i had a hard time being normal around people but i didn't go to class, stayed with a friend that studies other thing so all the people i was with don't know me that much, they just probably thought in weird or something like that. And also i have to reconsider my ethics and morals to be a healthy member of society. It sounds like a lot and i honestly don't know if it's worth it. Tomorrow i will probably see the friend i manipulated and they asked me to not talk to them in uni, so i wont, i want to see their reaction tho, even tho they might try to avoid it. I'm just having a hard time not trying to CTB every night. I've been told my method is bullshit and now i feel lost, i want to live (my way) but at the same time i don't want to (the repercussions of my actions), seems like a childish thought, but im
being honest, i just don't want to be here, if i'm here, why do i have to be nice ? i'm worthless anyway, i'll just lower my value.
being honest, i just don't want to be here, if i'm here, why do i have to be nice ? i'm worthless anyway, i'll just lower my value.
