80d1mebag$$$
Boomin’ like Alicia keys
- Feb 2, 2025
- 19
hi this is my first post here
ive been kinda lurking in this forum for a good few days and just decided to make an account now. i discovered it after it being mentioned to me by someone i know and this place seems nice enough. ive been depressed for pretty much as long as i can remember, and i dont see much light in my life beyond a few things keeping me here. im a trans girl who also is really into listening to music. ive been in recovery before and i was doing convincing myself i was doing well until recently. my breaking point was when i lost a bunch of my friends at the same time due to some shitty things i did and i lost like 6(?) months being clean from self harm and since then its been kinda a downward spiral. my performances in school have always kinda been shitty and ive tried to get myself out of the hole ive dug, but i dont see that happening. ive fucked myself over one too many times and i feel like the only answer is to stop trying. i dont think im gonna try anything relatively soon but i doubt im making it the next few years. my future contains no hope, the only people i care about enough to want to stay around for are in the same boat as me, and everywhere i seem to turn just ends me back up in the same spot i have always been in, a stalemate between life and death. the only other thing thats really keeping me sane is music and even then i can feel it fading. i hope i can find at least a little comfort in my suffering here.
ive been kinda lurking in this forum for a good few days and just decided to make an account now. i discovered it after it being mentioned to me by someone i know and this place seems nice enough. ive been depressed for pretty much as long as i can remember, and i dont see much light in my life beyond a few things keeping me here. im a trans girl who also is really into listening to music. ive been in recovery before and i was doing convincing myself i was doing well until recently. my breaking point was when i lost a bunch of my friends at the same time due to some shitty things i did and i lost like 6(?) months being clean from self harm and since then its been kinda a downward spiral. my performances in school have always kinda been shitty and ive tried to get myself out of the hole ive dug, but i dont see that happening. ive fucked myself over one too many times and i feel like the only answer is to stop trying. i dont think im gonna try anything relatively soon but i doubt im making it the next few years. my future contains no hope, the only people i care about enough to want to stay around for are in the same boat as me, and everywhere i seem to turn just ends me back up in the same spot i have always been in, a stalemate between life and death. the only other thing thats really keeping me sane is music and even then i can feel it fading. i hope i can find at least a little comfort in my suffering here.
