I've been already struggling most of my life with normal stuff like keeping up with grades, the life with my abusive mom and the bullying. Now that i had a chance of getting out of all that, then why am i suffering ? even after i reached out for help now 3 times with different professionals, with emergency services (hospital) why am i still wondering if i should ctb ? is this normal ? if it is, then i think we're on hell. I'm starting to lose all hope and just don't care about a painless ctb method anymore, i could just afford to go out at night and instead of ctb i would catch a train if ykwim. For now im just acting normal, but im going insane, drugs (including my medication), friends, family, pets, hobbies, nothing is worth it, absolutely nothing and nobody can change my opinion on that. I would've liked to have sex at least once but i just didn't (at the time of this post) so i might just die virgin, whatever, life is just not worth it, "help" doesn't work, the system is shit, society is shit, world is shit. Only abstract and extremly confusing systems keep me here because i temporaly escape from all the pain in my brain. SSRIs, lurasidone, benzodiacepines, nothing's working for me. Maybe im just broken, maybe i should just give up and delete any form of information anyone could get with my devices which is the main thing i use, encryption sounds like a good method but that's for another post i'll do in a minute.
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jengablocks
im jengablocks
- Jan 30, 2026
- 4
i think thats normal and maybe we're in hell but youre definitely not broken. those struggles dont just go away once they're over, especially if it happened when u were younger, that stuff is what literally shapes your brain. i understand meds not working though it took me like 5 years to find anything that worked but i know they dont really work anyway if you havent dealt with the things you've been holding in for so long
but yea i relate to nothing really being worth it. i mean nothing is if youre just in pain every daySimilar threads
