hello i survived an sn attempt :(

[thefarter]

hiiiiii everyone :3
i used to have an account on here. i forgot my username so here i am with a new account.
lol i always used to try finding someone to ctb with using sn.. but i just ended up trying myself.

anyway i survived an sn attempt. i didn't have a super detailed plan or anything. i just drank that shtuff. a lil impulsive i must say.

yaaaa it was rubbish.
i did feel super nauseous, dizzy, awful. and i saw myself turning blue. freaked out a bit because i wasn't at home. anyway. i passed out and woke up to paramedics. i called them cute or pretty or something. i ended up in ICU.. i remember being put in the back of an ambulance. and then i think i passed out again.

and it felt like complete garbage waking up with a tube down my throat.

idk a lady came to me and asked me if i knew where i was and i was like nah.. and they took the tube out. and i felt really sick and threw up bile or whatever? i think. the sn taste was still in my mouth.

i could also barely move. my body felt so heavy. i remember from sneaking a peek at my notes that i had a seizure so they injected me with ketamine i think? idk if im making that up. i dont remember properly. and they took all my SN. i should've left the bag at home :/ my mistake

anyway its been like ? 2 years since then.

you know i actually started antidepressants and everything and cbt and i was genuinely trying so hard to not feel like suicide was the only option for me.

but lowkey at some point it just becomes way too much.

i have been an awful gross wretched evil person in the past. and some kids decided to? doxx me? or whatever. so anyway, i tried ignoring that for a good 2-3 years. but yeah idk if there's a point in trying to get better anymore because i feel like everyone i ever meet will always hold my past actions against me. i am genuinely trying to not be awful & crappy anymore. and i do accept that i WAS very awful and crappy in the past. not even denying anything.

anyway, it feels like SN (my beloved), will have to save me this time..

PLEASEEEEEE dm me if you have any SN sources that will ship to UK.

thank u so much ^_^ byeeeee

 

[Forveleth]

What happened to the first source you used?

 

[thefarter]

What happened to the first source you used?

oh the website got shut down. it was a whole thing, i think he got arrested & went to court and everything.

 

[peewee]

how were you discovered?

 

[what]

@thefarter did you get the exploding head/suffocation feeling?

 

[Alpacachino]

To the UK?You want it shipped to the United Kingdom. Highly unlikely, I'm sorry to say.Not only is there a very high probability of your package being sent back or confiscated.



There is also a good chance of you getting a visit as well.

 

[Macedonian1987]

Did you have any lasting damage in your digestive organs from the SN, also how many grams did you ingest and what was its purity ?

 

[CandleShade]

Did you test your SN before trying to use it?

 

[collidedsigns]

hiiiiii everyone :3
i used to have an account on here. i forgot my username so here i am with a new account.
lol i always used to try finding someone to ctb with using sn.. but i just ended up trying myself.

anyway i survived an sn attempt. i didn't have a super detailed plan or anything. i just drank that shtuff. a lil impulsive i must say.

yaaaa it was rubbish.
i did feel super nauseous, dizzy, awful. and i saw myself turning blue. freaked out a bit because i wasn't at home. anyway. i passed out and woke up to paramedics. i called them cute or pretty or something. i ended up in ICU.. i remember being put in the back of an ambulance. and then i think i passed out again.

and it felt like complete garbage waking up with a tube down my throat.

idk a lady came to me and asked me if i knew where i was and i was like nah.. and they took the tube out. and i felt really sick and threw up bile or whatever? i think. the sn taste was still in my mouth.

i could also barely move. my body felt so heavy. i remember from sneaking a peek at my notes that i had a seizure so they injected me with ketamine i think? idk if im making that up. i dont remember properly. and they took all my SN. i should've left the bag at home :/ my mistake

anyway its been like ? 2 years since then.

you know i actually started antidepressants and everything and cbt and i was genuinely trying so hard to not feel like suicide was the only option for me.

but lowkey at some point it just becomes way too much.

i have been an awful gross wretched evil person in the past. and some kids decided to? doxx me? or whatever. so anyway, i tried ignoring that for a good 2-3 years. but yeah idk if there's a point in trying to get better anymore because i feel like everyone i ever meet will always hold my past actions against me. i am genuinely trying to not be awful & crappy anymore. and i do accept that i WAS very awful and crappy in the past. not even denying anything.

anyway, it feels like SN (my beloved), will have to save me this time..

PLEASEEEEEE dm me if you have any SN sources that will ship to UK.

thank u so much ^_^ byeeeee

Following for a U.K. source. I hate not being able to find it it's my ticket out of this shithole

 

[dalemar]

How were you discovered?
How much time after you took the SN were the doctors called?
Do you have any permanent damage? I hope not!

 

[Blueberry Panic]

I've woken up with a tube down my throat a few times.... a failed sn attempt was one of them. I'm sorry you went through that ... it's literally hell.

 

[dalemar]

I've woken up with a tube down my throat a few times.... a failed sn attempt was one of them. I'm sorry you went through that ... it's literally hell.

Do you know why you failed the SN attempt? Did you follow a good protocol?

 

[Blueberry Panic]

Do you know why you failed the SN attempt? Did you follow a good protocol?

I tested it once called for help... my first attempt I was found before things got horrible, my second attempt the purity was off... I experienced everything without going unconscious so all I did was wait it out.

 

[dalemar]

I tested it once called for help... my first attempt I was found before things got horrible, my second attempt the purity was off... I experienced everything without going unconscious so all I did was wait it out.

Sorry you hag done through those experiences. Were you left with any permanent damage (besides the horrible experiences).

 

[Blueberry Panic]

Sorry you hag done through those experiences. Were you left with any permanent damage (besides the horrible experiences).

Heart issues

 

[dalemar]

Heart issues

:(
was that during the first attempt, or the second one with the low purity SN?
I am planning CTB with SN, and gotta try to gather as much information about failures, to try to have them covered in my protocol.

 

[Obliviate]

so ultimately you would have succeeded but were found?

 

[marksofdespair]

Heart issues

considering how sn affects the heart that makes a lot of sense. what issues have you had to contend with? maybe tachycardia or palps?

you know i actually started antidepressants and everything and cbt and i was genuinely trying so hard to not feel like suicide was the only option for me.

but lowkey at some point it just becomes way too much.

i have been an awful gross wretched evil person in the past. and some kids decided to? doxx me? or whatever. so anyway, i tried ignoring that for a good 2-3 years. but yeah idk if there's a point in trying to get better anymore because i feel like everyone i ever meet will always hold my past actions against me. i am genuinely trying to not be awful & crappy anymore. and i do accept that i WAS very awful and crappy in the past. not even denying anything.

1) what made you feel like shit again even though you were on the antidepressants?

2) hardcore understand being an awful crappy person in the past and holding that against yourself forever. im so fkn disgusted and disturbed by my past actions i can't even live with myself anymore i know people will always view me as a lowlife sack of shit lol

 

[Blueberry Panic]

considering how sn affects the heart that makes a lot of sense. what issues have you had to contend with? maybe tachycardia or palps?

1) what made you feel like shit again even though you were on the antidepressants?

2) hardcore understand being an awful crappy person in the past and holding that against yourself forever. im so fkn disgusted and disturbed by my past actions i can't even live with myself anymore i know people will always view me as a lowlife sack of shit lol

Both

 

[thefarter]

@thefarter did you get the exploding head/suffocation feeling?

i don't remember getting any feeling like that. just got dizzy and felt like i was gonna faint a few times. very nauseous because of the taste.

Did you have any lasting damage in your digestive organs from the SN, also how many grams did you ingest and what was its purity ?

no lasting damage.

i am genuinely not sure how many grams i had. i just had a 750ml bottle of water that was half-full and i mixed maybe 1 or 1.5 tsp of sn into it.

i mixed it a few days after the sn arrived, i just wanted to have it ready so i could drink it whenever i had a suicidal urge, and that's exactly what i ended up doing lol. i think i actually drank it like 1.5 weeks after mixing it.

i think it was 98% purity.

Did you test your SN before trying to use it?

no. i just trusted the packaging.

 

[Poison Ivy]

Did u have any effects after everything

 

[thefarter]

How were you discovered?
How much time after you took the SN were the doctors called?
Do you have any permanent damage? I hope not!

ough.. i think the ambulance was called around 45 mins after i took the sn. i didn't mix a very large amount of sn so i think things went downhill a bit slowly.
no permanent damage.

Did u have any effects after everything

no, nothing lasting. just all the symptoms immediately after taking the sn.

 

[dalemar]

ough.. i think the ambulance was called around 45 mins after i took the sn. i didn't mix a very large amount of sn so i think things went downhill a bit slowly.
no permanent damage.

no, nothing lasting. just all the symptoms immediately after taking the sn.

Except from not measuring the SN did you take any meto, benzos, fasting? Or just took the sn as you said.
Did you vomit?

 

[thefarter]

considering how sn affects the heart that makes a lot of sense. what issues have you had to contend with? maybe tachycardia or palps?

1) what made you feel like shit again even though you were on the antidepressants?

2) hardcore understand being an awful crappy person in the past and holding that against yourself forever. im so fkn disgusted and disturbed by my past actions i can't even live with myself anymore i know people will always view me as a lowlife sack of shit lol

1) you know i actually don't know. well i kinda do know, but i think everyone will think i'm out of my mind if i talk about it. so i don't think i should talk about it. but generally i am overthinking a lot, and pathologising my behaviour. so i am reading a lot of psychology sites and convincing myself i am a narcissist or a covert narcissist or something. and then eventually feeling like i should kill myself because of that.

2) oh yea.. i am sorry you can relate. ough i tried so hard to stay hopeful though.. i think my family don't think i will try again but lowkey i'm just planning everything behind their backs again, it feels kind of bad.

Except from not measuring the SN did you take any meto, benzos, fasting? Or just took the sn as you said.
Did you vomit?

no i didn't take anything else. i wanted to plan everything properly but no time & resources.
just drank sn.
i didn't vomit. and every time i felt like i was going to, i just drank some more sn.
only vomited after i woke up in hospital. because of the taste.