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Only you can decide if life is worth living. I was just a child when I tried ctb for the 1st time on the night of my 13th birthday due to physical and verbal abuse and neglect. Honestly, from my earliest memories, I knew my life was and would continue to be hell and I was NOT wrong. I also can honestly say I never had any hesitation about ctb, even as a child. This is what makes me think perhaps you can salvage things because you have that hesitation. Your life, opportunities and resources may be different. I wish you peace and happiness wherever you can find it.
I agree. My only issue all these years has been accessing a method I prefer (even now as an adult) but, even as a child on my first attempt on the night of my 13th birthday, I had NO HESITATION after years of abuse and neglect. The hesitation here tells me there is hope in some form/way. I hope there is.
yeah getting old and retiring in your worst years sounds horrible, its just the life of an unemployed person but in a rotting carcass of a body
I second this completely! Yes, I am still suicidal but am also grateful to have lived the experiences I have in the past few years. Give it a chance, because a lot changes in your early 20s — you have more autonomy to seek what you want out of life!I also wanted to die at age 18. It's been over 4 years since then, and I still do feel suicidal, but I am grateful I had the opportunity to experience my adulthood somewhat. Moving out of my parents house, gaining some independence - living life at your own will, it is a much different experience (at least to me) than when you are 18. I don't know your personal situation at all so it would impossible to say definitely, and if you're feeling so horribly those feelings are still completely valid regardless of whether you're 18 or 80. But if I had not failed back then, I would've died in an abusive home & with no chance of my own freedom, and I think everybody deserves that kind of opportunity. Perhaps you will feel the exact same in years time, or perhaps you could find some meaning in life that makes it worth the pain. But since you said you feel a little conflicted, perhaps it couldn't hurt to give it a few more years? Suicide will always be available to you, but life won't - if you decide to go through with it. I wish you luck with whatever path you take
Only you can make that judgement. Since you're asking yourself that question, you're probably not ready to let go so focus on what you can do to improve your situation.
