Have you ever wondered what the final moments feels like?

[Phobia_DLW]

Would it be relief? Pain? Regret? Life flashing in front of your eyes? Panic? Would it feel like you are floating?

I often find myself regretting things that have been done to me in the past, I wonder if in those final moments I will forget them and finally feel peace, even if for a few moments.

 

[Corovaner]

I try to not think about my final moments. If I ever make this final decision, I would try to think only about my main goal, which is death.

 

[itsallogrenow]

I try to not think about my final moments. If I ever make this final decision, I would try to think only about my main goal, which is death.

I'm the same. I think I'll be too busy worrying that it won't work and I'll wake up again

 

[Phobia_DLW]

I try to not think about my final moments. If I ever make this final decision, I would try to think only about my main goal, which is death.

Would it not be cool to finally feel some relief and peace at the very end? Haven't felt peaceful in such a long time.

 

[Corovaner]

Would it not be cool to finally feel some relief and peace at the very end? Haven't felt peaceful in such a long time.

It would be wonderful) But I can't feel relief without 100% reliable method, and sn is not 100% guaranteed death.

 

[Phobia_DLW]

It would be wonderful) But I can't fell relief without 100% reliable method, and sn is not 100% guaranteed death.

Why? Isnt it 100% guaranteed if the protocol is followed?

 

[Corovaner]

I'm the same. I think I'll be too busy worrying that it won't work and I'll wake up again

We cannot will relief neither in life, neither in death.

Why? Isnt it 100% guaranteed if the protocol is followed?

Sn can be not pure enough, or it can be expired.

 

[BPDTalk]

I hope the process is truly peaceful, as some survivors of near-death experiences (NDEs) have reported. In the end, we'll be shown good memories for a moment, completely stopping ourselves from remembering the bad ones forever.

 

[Corovaner]

I hope the process is truly peaceful, as some survivors of near-death experiences (NDEs) have reported. In the end, we'll be shown good memories for a moment, completely stopping ourselves from remembering the bad ones forever.

As I remember, brain begins to throw endorphines in a blood vessel in a few moments before death. Correct me, If I'm wrong.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I do wonder about it. I wonder if it will be like falling to sleep. There isn't often a clear moment for me when I fall to sleep. I'm awake one moment, asleep the next. I wonder if the transition between life and death is like that.

I worry too about having a nightmare before I die. What if I dream I go to hell?

 

[Endisclose]

Sn can be not pure enough, or it can be expired.

From what I've read, SN has a pretty long shelf life as long as it's stored properly. Do you have any evidence of any cases leading to failed attempts where the SN expired/was past the expiry date, but the package/container was never opened?

 

[Forveleth]

I do not know how close I was to dying, but both of my attempts had me sink into an inky blackness, like a dreamless sleep. I have heard the majority of NDE's report something similar. Even if it is terrifying, I am ok with that. I will take a few minutes of terror to avoid a lifetime of suffering.

It would be wonderful) But I can't feel relief without 100% reliable method, and sn is not 100% guaranteed death.

A 100% reliable method does not exist. Your method is going to be living out your natural life

 

[enne]

there was one time when i knew it was about to happen (my health had deteriorated so much) i was contemplating on drowning in the tub, was laying there. staring at the ceiling.
submerged in and out the water.
calmness approached
i then transported to being at the giant pool as a child with my dad then it all went black

woke up to him banging on the bathroom door

 

[Phobia_DLW]

there was one time when i knew it was about to happen (my health had deteriorated so much) i was contemplating on drowning in the tub, was laying there. staring at the ceiling.
submerged in and out the water.
calmness approached
i then transported to being at the giant pool as a child with my dad then it all went black

woke up to him banging on the bathroom door

Wow thank you for the insight, did you feel anything other than calm?

 

[enne]

Wow thank you for the insight, did you feel anything other than calm?

i honestly think if he hadn't of tried to check on me and wake me in that time i would've just slipped into that dream and passed. i wish he would've just let me drift.
i think i was even sober. my body and mind just were ready.

 

[DerBopo]

Id probably feel very present. Because during no other moment in my life would the insignificant gain such significance. At once every worry for the future and past vanishes all that is left is the now. The present. It'd be very peaceful i imagine. There is nothing left but to experience. Reminiscing about the good moments, the good memories. I suppose id feel a bit guilty for leaving my parents to live thru the guilt of "not having done enough" even tho they have.
My suicide letter would be LONG i already know. There is SOOOO much to say.

 

[Corovaner]

From what I've read, SN has a pretty long shelf life as long as it's stored properly. Do you have any evidence of any cases leading to failed attempts where the SN expired/was past the expiry date, but the package/container was never opened?

Im alive after ingesting 20g of SN

This was at 4am. After I drank my SN mix. I immediately laid down. I watched my TV for about 10 minutes. Then the horror...I of course, vomited profusely. Yes, I took antiemetics. I laid back down. I could feel my body start to shut down. I remember breathing in agony. I got up and remember...

sanctionedsuicide.site

 

[suicimar]

I am going to CBT soon. I can tell you that when I was younger, I watched the ER and admired doctor Green - his way 'to go'. When he learnt he got cancer, he declined all treatments, went to hawai to enjoy a few weeks and die.
That was a f*** lie. Since I decided I'd take my life, I cannot sleep, I have no energy to do ANYTHING, seriously, nothing...
So no, this is not a nice feeling.

 

[Phobia_DLW]

I am going to CBT soon. I can tell you that when I was younger, I watched the ER and admired doctor Green - his way 'to go'. When he learnt he got cancer, he declined all treatments, went to hawai to enjoy a few weeks and die.
That was a f*** lie. Since I decided I'd take my life, I cannot sleep, I have no energy to do ANYTHING, seriously, nothing...
So no, this is not a nice feeling.

Sorry to hear about your disappointment, I was more so referring to when you actually CTB and are in your final moments.

 

[suicimar]

Morivation is the key for me. I am fed up and want to go. I do not care about the past, I do not believe in gods. I die. The end.

 

[Endisclose]

Im alive after ingesting 20g of SN

This was at 4am. After I drank my SN mix. I immediately laid down. I watched my TV for about 10 minutes. Then the horror...I of course, vomited profusely. Yes, I took antiemetics. I laid back down. I could feel my body start to shut down. I remember breathing in agony. I got up and remember...

sanctionedsuicide.site

Looks like the OP has sipped SN, spaced it out (not taken it in one go) either by 15 mins or by more than 15 hours - that's not clear from the post either.

She also mentions taking meto 30 mins earlier while the PPeH says to wait for 40 mins. The meto might not have kicked in fully by the time she took it. I think it'd be better to wait for like 50 mins to 1 hour maybe?

There's some kind of deviation from the protocol here..

 

[Aphid]

Would it be relief? Pain? Regret? Life flashing in front of your eyes? Panic? Would it feel like you are floating?

I often find myself regretting things that have been done to me in the past, I wonder if in those final moments I will forget them and finally feel peace, even if for a few moments.

I was out for 7 minutes yesterday . I hung myself with a shower cord, it took 20 or so seconds to be fully gone. There was no regret or feeling . When I did it it was almost just, instant between me losing conscious and being awake. I did see old cartoons, and horrific figures and other scary shit. I really recommend not havin any loud noises nearby as to me when I was hanging it sounded like the mountains splitting open and screams and laughter and yelling and talking and laughing, it was genuinely horrific and unforgettable haha. I just know that I should not be alive and my experience was so odd and scary like a horror moviee, I would vouch for an ie for an instant death instead. The visions are nonsense, the last firing synapses of a melting dream.

 

[Corovaner]

Looks like the OP has sipped SN, spaced it out (not taken it in one go) either by 15 mins or by more than 15 hours - that's not clear from the post either.

She also mentions taking meto 30 mins earlier while the PPeH says to wait for 40 mins. The meto might not have kicked in fully by the time she took it. I think it'd be better to wait for like 50 mins to 1 hour maybe?

There's some kind of deviation from the protocol here..

It is certainly deviation, but I still fear that sn won't kill me, if I decide to drink it.

 

[Endisclose]

It is certainly deviation, but I still fear that sn won't kill me, if I decide to drink it.

Why?

 

[Corovaner]

Why?

Because it can be not pure enough, expired, oxydated etc. And metoclopramide makes me dizzy, it can increase vomiting probability. At the same time sn is the best option for me, except gun.

 

[ella.gracep]

i almost died due to an attempt and had a near death experience. i'd hung myself and had lost consciousness already, but was cut down. ai went through stages during the attempt, shortly before loosing consciousness but what i remember most vividly were the last two seconds. i KNEW that was it, that it's over. and it was horrible. i don't even know how to describe it. pure terror had turned into acceptance and exhaustion. i still had this person inside me screaming and trying to fight (the instinct) but i couldn't react anymore. i felt so SPLIT and that was horrible. and what i saw after was not peace, it was the exact opposite of what i'd hoped i would see or where i'd end up. the last things i saw in life was my vacuum cleaner and that the back of my hands had no visivle veins anymore. that's it.
yet, i tried to ctb today a similar way and i think this first experience traumatised me so much, that it makes it even harder now . also, i executed it differently

 

[Phobia_DLW]

I was out for 7 minutes yesterday . I hung myself with a shower cord, it took 20 or so seconds to be fully gone. There was no regret or feeling . When I did it it was almost just, instant between me losing conscious and being awake. I did see old cartoons, and horrific figures and other scary shit. I really recommend not havin any loud noises nearby as to me when I was hanging it sounded like the mountains splitting open and screams and laughter and yelling and talking and laughing, it was genuinely horrific and unforgettable haha. I just know that I should not be alive and my experience was so odd and scary like a horror moviee, I would vouch for an ie for an instant death instead. The visions are nonsense, the last firing synapses of a melting dream.

So your mind was playing tricks on you? How are you feeling now? How do you feel about not leaving?

i almost died due to an attempt and had a near death experience. i'd hung myself and had lost consciousness already, but was cut down. ai went through stages during the attempt, shortly before loosing consciousness but what i remember most vividly were the last two seconds. i KNEW that was it, that it's over. and it was horrible. i don't even know how to describe it. pure terror had turned into acceptance and exhaustion. i still had this person inside me screaming and trying to fight (the instinct) but i couldn't react anymore. i felt so SPLIT and that was horrible. and what i saw after was not peace, it was the exact opposite of what i'd hoped i would see or where i'd end up. the last things i saw in life was my vacuum cleaner and that the back of my hands had no visivle veins anymore. that's it.
yet, i tried to ctb today a similar way and i think this first experience traumatised me so much, that it makes it even harder now . also, i executed it differently

I'm sorry I don't mean to be insensitive but the vacuum part got me laughing.

Would you say you felt how felt because you wanted to stay and not leave?

 

[E4syW3y0u7]

I guess it really depends how it happens, if you die instantly you don't even really have "final moments". I've never had any near death experience but i'd imagine mine to be painful, full of regrets and scary.

I'm trying not to think about it and finding a way to numb myself as much as possible with alcohol/drugs to smooth it up...will see...

 

[Phobia_DLW]

I guess it really depends how it happens, if you die instantly you don't even really have "final moments". I've never had any near death experience but i'd imagine mine to be painful, full of regrets and scary.

I'm trying not to think about it and finding a way to numb myself as much as possible with alcohol/drugs to smooth it up...will see...

True, why do you think yours would be regretful and scary? What if it is super peaceful?

Yup, that wine is helping me numb myself so much right now.

 

[E4syW3y0u7]

True, why do you think yours would be regretful and scary? What if it is super peaceful?

Yup, that wine is helping me numb myself so much right now.

Because there's things i wish i didn't do and people i wish i didn't hurt. We all gonna die anyway and ending it "before it's time" is scary i think mostly, just wonder what could have happened if things were different.

I assume it can be super peaceful, i mean there's old people and others with terminal illnesses that die pumped full of drugs so they can go painleslly and surrounded by people that love them. It can be pretty good i guess.