Discussion Have you ever wished a therapist would just work off of what you journaled or wrote somewhere?

[Forever Sleep]

Maybe it's my social anxiety and dread of communicating with an actual person. Especially one that might judge me and I would have to perceive that.

I used to wish I could just drop off all my journals (when I did journal) and, they would provide feedback on them! In a way- wouldn't that be more effective? There may well be less holding back in a journal. Less attempts to present a certain way. The more authentic us.

Similarly, I wonder if the 'character' we reveal here is similar to one we would in therapy. I imagine we are more able to be honest here although again- maybe less so. Depends who we are trying to impress or conceal things from I suppose. What do you think therapists would make of reading our threads here? Would they actually consider some of us beyond their help I wonder.

The major difference I imagine is being able to be honest about ideation. From what I've seen, some therapists won't even tolerate mention of it. Which makes no sense to me but, still.

Do you think some would be shocked? Those who see therapists, how much do they really know you- do you suppose?

 

[martyrdom]

You can just ask them to do this. A lot of them wouldn't be against it.

I have traumatic mutism, so that's kind of what I have to do. I communicate with my therapist through pieces of paper I write on, sometimes gestures, etc.

 

[Unlucky777]

I just wish that a therapist would be of help to me lol. I've tried talk therapy for over a decade with various therapists and it just doesn't do it for me. Some people it works for them.

I made the mistake of telling a therapist about CTB and it did not end well for me. Be careful with them, they may take action that will fuck with your freedom. There are a lot of variables that go into it so be careful is all I'm saying on what and how much you disclose to them

 

[Forever Sleep]

You can just ask them to do this. A lot of them wouldn't be against it.

I have traumatic mutism, so that's kind of what I have to do. I communicate with my therapist through pieces of paper I write on, sometimes gestures, etc.

That's interesting. I didn't realise they would do this. I imagine they'd still want to see a person though although- maybe not with so much being online now.

It's not something I'm actually considering now. I'm not interested in recovery now but still- that's good I think. That they will consider different approaches.

 

[martyrdom]

That's interesting. I didn't realise they would do this. I imagine they'd still want to see a person though although- maybe not with so much being online now.

I have to see mine in person, yes. I am allowed to cover a lot of my face though due to my fears and trauma. If you want them to read your journals, what would probably happen is they read them and maybe ask you questions along the session about stuff you have written. But a good therapist will be really accommodating of things you need to be comfortable - you lead the therapy, you make the decisions, they are there to serve you. If something works or doesn't work for you you can tell them. It also depends on the specialties they have and the types of therapy they offer.

I go to therapy by force, I wouldn't if it were my choice. But it's not really the monster that people here tend to imagine, at least with a good therapist.

 

[NormallyNeurotic]

I've read out vents from here and other places to my therapist for feedback. They still required I at least be on a video call, but a good therapist will totally work with your needs!

 

[SoulCage]

I always feel like a burden and don't even want to ask my therapist to read through my mostly non-sensical stuff. I don't pay her enough for that lol.

But I do wish someone would read through my real thoughts and feelings, but not really sure why I would want that. Because... They surely won't support my opinions on life and they definitely can't help me to make anything better.
Maybe it's some kind of attention seeking instinct being satisfied? Like someone one knows how miserable I actually am and how I can't support myself alone? Sense of security?
I don't know..

Most of the time I try to be my real me when I tell her stuff, but sometimes... I notice how much I hesitate to say my real thoughts, because I am scared of her reaction, judgment or invalidation. That I say stuff that makes me look stupid or like someone who wants to be miserable.

 

[Forveleth]

I feel the need the explain myself too much to leave papers for someone to read. I would be worried about them misinterpreting my writing.

 

[ConfusedClouds]

Yes. So. Much. I have(had) an agreement where I send emails throughout the week for her to read. Gives her a context of either how my week has been or how my brain is treating me or what I've been upto so when I freeze up, she has meaningful questions and prompts to work off.

Definitely pros and cons to it though. I guess this has been something thats developed/evolved slowly over a lot of time (private therapist I have seen for the bulk of 3.5 years now)

Pros - as above. When it works I really do feel more heard. And able to respond to things discussed in session if I come up with better clarity after a bit of processing time. It can help stop me from zoning out sometimes when she can engage in actual relevant/meaningful conversation

Cons - its such a delicate balance of boundaries that does fail sometimes. I have to have a strict limit how much I can send (I could keep going and going) and she can obviously never 100% promise to read everything. We have ended up with an agreement where I pay extra and so she will commit to reading a certain amount outside of the short 50 mins sessions and if she can she often reads more etc. It can feel really upsetting the times its clear she's not read something I know I've typed by the way she is asking something. And one of the contributing factors to my current fall out with her was me finding myself repeating stuff I know I have explained in text a few times - to which she said something like 'I know, I do read it, but I prefer hearing it from you', which set off all sorts of 'whats the point' spirals for me. Also, the process of fine-tuning all this eats into the limited contact time (both typed and discussed) too.

 

[Dejected 55]

When I was in the hospital I was constantly frustrated by the daily repetition and how each new person would ask me all the same questions. I always told them, I understood some repeats... like "how are you feeling today" because those answers could change... Those didn't bother me.

But every day and every new person asking for my life story... was frustrating... when I know the very first person who asked took detailed notes. I said my history never changes... why keep making me repeat it the same every time? Also, every time they don't want to really hear it... not in detail... not how I want to tell it. They always interrupt and want to skip or tell me they are out of time... and I keep saying, if you all would just read the notes, we wouldn't have to go over the same stuff over and over.

One therapist told me maybe I'd have better luck meeting people if I tried being more positive when talking to them. I stopped her right there and asked if she was an idiot. She had asked me to explain my situation... I was in a therapy session explaining my problems. Of course I was being negative! I don't just walk up to random people on the street and say "I suck, life sucks, be my friend please." I told her I assumed in a therapy session I should be honest and not be trying to impress her or something. Like, what the actual fuck?

 

[Hollowman]

I tried that. It was a waste of time that didn't help at all.

 

[Cauliflour]

tbh even in my diary entries I can't be 100% honest with myself cause I'll start judging and/or making myself uncomfortable, so I think all that'll amount to if I ever actually have a therapist, is one long, awkward conversation.

 

[BruhXDDDDD]

Tried it before. Honestly a good idea, you should go for it. You may have to go in and revise some things with an audience in mind, though.