I use this term more loosely. I like the movie Ghost in the Shell Innocence a lot. It is one of my favorite franchises and the movie is inter alia about insanity (in the form of schizophrenia). Later in my life I developed psychosis.
In psychosis many patients have a weird relationship with "the truth". Some develop religious delusions. (Not me). But it is a condition where the lines between fiction (in your head) blur with the actual reality.
I think I am relatively self-aware. And in some form this movie is also about self-awareness in the midst of confusion. You shouldn't take the lesson of the movie there is someone to save you literally.
I know how people with psychosis think. And there are so many forms of cognitive biases.
Retrospectively, I often had the feeling I met various (metapohrical) false prophets throughout my life. And not only two good looking women who wanted to talk to me on the street recently. I realized pretty early they were part of a cult when I saw a message about Jesus on their clothes. I said no thank you in the most polite way.
It is hard to figure out who the first false prophet was. In my usage of the word which is very loose this applies to many people.
One example, there was a therapist I met in a clinic. He diagnosed my first psychosis. I looked up to him. I thought he realized something about me which I was unable to see. And obviously specialized on psychosis he was well educated and I fully trusted on him. I told him parts of why I developed psychosis. He never asked whether I experienced violence in my life. It was a half ass question was there anything special in your life that you haven't told me thus far? He gave me a great prognosis. He told me your brain realized there is nothing wrong with you. Just keep on going with the same behavior, look for a hobby besides working your ass off for school and everything will be fine. I told him I was so eager that I didn't want to do anything else than studying in school. You might should expect something went wrong in the education if a 18 year od teenager has an attitude like that. I took the words he said to me very literal. They gave me much hope in the midst of major depression. And I misinterpreted the words. I took them very literal. I thought I could quit taking antipsychotics after one year. Because studies say you have the best outlook to get rid of them after a year.
He misdiagnosed me. I have bipolar disorder the prognosis wasn't actually that good. I think he knew to that time that there were manic elements in my behavior. But bro you have to write that in this fucking report. They gave me a certain antidepresaant in a very high dosage which triggered a manic-depressive episode later. We were not in contact anymore. But one year afterwards we met again. I was in college and I had a psychosis again. When I met him I told him that "just go on like like that" did not work out. He blamed it on quitting the medication though. In my acute psychosis I was extremely self-aware for someone in an acute psychosis. He was baffled by that and almost didn't believe I was in a psychosis. I asked him whether the pain and depression will come back after the episode. The first major depression was a nightmare. And he lied to. Said to taking benozs was fine and he wanted that I have a success in college and keep going. All he cared about was success. He was fucking careerist. After the second psychosis I had major depression again with severe psychosomatic pain. And I never told him if he stopped me durinh this second psychosis I think he could have spared me the insane psychosometic pain. Even after my psychosis he pushed me further the career road. And then I had the feeling he was a false prophet for me. Obviously not in the religious sense. But someone I fully trusted. And I had a very high opinion on him and I based my decisions on his advices. This was one of my first disillusionments.
I am not sure whether I would call the women I texted with/or dated false prophets. I never considered them very wise people to rely on concerning approaching the truth/making important decision. But there were some disillusionments for sure. The first borderline woman I texted with abused the shit out of me. Then the family argument happened where my granddad died. This showed me I never want to be this much co-dependent on any other human being. But they were no actual false prophets I think. I realized something though. The liberal woman I dated was extremely smart. And I always fear that people who are way smarter than me notice something bad about me that I am unaware of. Something I need to hate myself for. I need to hate myself for it before other people can point it out without me hating me for it. Actually, I think my brain works this way. When the meeting became toxic though I realized I should not care what she thinks about me. It doesn't matter whether she and her sociopathic friend are much smarter than me. If they act like assholes their opinion shouldn't matter.
And now we come obviously since its me to the quantum physics professor. He is already an inside joke I think, with how obsessed I am, he lives in my fucking head rentfree.
Here is the thing. He was a fucking good person AND extremely smart. Since his opinion matters to me. I think the obsession with the clinic therapist got less when I met him. He is now the new source for wisdom. There are many paradoxes though. I have the tendency to analyze what is going on in the head of these people. And the quantum physics told me to stop that. So I cannot blame him to be a false prophet because he never wanted to be one for my sick head. From how I interacted with him he had a big trust in therapists. As experts in their field. And this is why I tried to trust therapists. And it didn't play out well when my former therapist stabbed me in the back in the most brutal way recently. I am not sure what the lesson of this is though. For sure I don't trust therapists anymore. But is AI therapy really a good replacement? Because the tech libertarian billionaires come across as real false prophets. I am not sure. I am also not sure whether that was caused by a misinterpretation of the words of the quantum physics professor. In the end though I should trust his advice and stop analyzing him further to get advices from him. Which in the end are speculations. But in some way his advices helped me a lot. They gave me hope. And because I changed my life circumstances I am for the moment less suicidal and less in pain. But I think only retroactively we will know how this plays out.
I also wondered whether Sanctioned Suicide or members of Sanctioned Suicide could be false prophets. I think I am honest enough to admit that. I often question myself and my morals. I think a found a way to maximize the benfits of visiting this website while decreasing potential negative effects. And in the end last October was pretty dangerous. but I also believe in the right to choose. And in the end its my responsibility with what I do with my life. And something I need to emphasize. A member on SaSu recommended me to apply for a government payment in my country. She even had to convince me of that. And this played a massive role in giving me hope back and improving my life quality. So overall its a clear net positive for me. Otherwise I would not visit this website anymore.
In psychosis many patients have a weird relationship with "the truth". Some develop religious delusions. (Not me). But it is a condition where the lines between fiction (in your head) blur with the actual reality.
I think I am relatively self-aware. And in some form this movie is also about self-awareness in the midst of confusion. You shouldn't take the lesson of the movie there is someone to save you literally.
I know how people with psychosis think. And there are so many forms of cognitive biases.
Retrospectively, I often had the feeling I met various (metapohrical) false prophets throughout my life. And not only two good looking women who wanted to talk to me on the street recently. I realized pretty early they were part of a cult when I saw a message about Jesus on their clothes. I said no thank you in the most polite way.
It is hard to figure out who the first false prophet was. In my usage of the word which is very loose this applies to many people.
One example, there was a therapist I met in a clinic. He diagnosed my first psychosis. I looked up to him. I thought he realized something about me which I was unable to see. And obviously specialized on psychosis he was well educated and I fully trusted on him. I told him parts of why I developed psychosis. He never asked whether I experienced violence in my life. It was a half ass question was there anything special in your life that you haven't told me thus far? He gave me a great prognosis. He told me your brain realized there is nothing wrong with you. Just keep on going with the same behavior, look for a hobby besides working your ass off for school and everything will be fine. I told him I was so eager that I didn't want to do anything else than studying in school. You might should expect something went wrong in the education if a 18 year od teenager has an attitude like that. I took the words he said to me very literal. They gave me much hope in the midst of major depression. And I misinterpreted the words. I took them very literal. I thought I could quit taking antipsychotics after one year. Because studies say you have the best outlook to get rid of them after a year.
He misdiagnosed me. I have bipolar disorder the prognosis wasn't actually that good. I think he knew to that time that there were manic elements in my behavior. But bro you have to write that in this fucking report. They gave me a certain antidepresaant in a very high dosage which triggered a manic-depressive episode later. We were not in contact anymore. But one year afterwards we met again. I was in college and I had a psychosis again. When I met him I told him that "just go on like like that" did not work out. He blamed it on quitting the medication though. In my acute psychosis I was extremely self-aware for someone in an acute psychosis. He was baffled by that and almost didn't believe I was in a psychosis. I asked him whether the pain and depression will come back after the episode. The first major depression was a nightmare. And he lied to. Said to taking benozs was fine and he wanted that I have a success in college and keep going. All he cared about was success. He was fucking careerist. After the second psychosis I had major depression again with severe psychosomatic pain. And I never told him if he stopped me durinh this second psychosis I think he could have spared me the insane psychosometic pain. Even after my psychosis he pushed me further the career road. And then I had the feeling he was a false prophet for me. Obviously not in the religious sense. But someone I fully trusted. And I had a very high opinion on him and I based my decisions on his advices. This was one of my first disillusionments.
I am not sure whether I would call the women I texted with/or dated false prophets. I never considered them very wise people to rely on concerning approaching the truth/making important decision. But there were some disillusionments for sure. The first borderline woman I texted with abused the shit out of me. Then the family argument happened where my granddad died. This showed me I never want to be this much co-dependent on any other human being. But they were no actual false prophets I think. I realized something though. The liberal woman I dated was extremely smart. And I always fear that people who are way smarter than me notice something bad about me that I am unaware of. Something I need to hate myself for. I need to hate myself for it before other people can point it out without me hating me for it. Actually, I think my brain works this way. When the meeting became toxic though I realized I should not care what she thinks about me. It doesn't matter whether she and her sociopathic friend are much smarter than me. If they act like assholes their opinion shouldn't matter.
And now we come obviously since its me to the quantum physics professor. He is already an inside joke I think, with how obsessed I am, he lives in my fucking head rentfree.
Here is the thing. He was a fucking good person AND extremely smart. Since his opinion matters to me. I think the obsession with the clinic therapist got less when I met him. He is now the new source for wisdom. There are many paradoxes though. I have the tendency to analyze what is going on in the head of these people. And the quantum physics told me to stop that. So I cannot blame him to be a false prophet because he never wanted to be one for my sick head. From how I interacted with him he had a big trust in therapists. As experts in their field. And this is why I tried to trust therapists. And it didn't play out well when my former therapist stabbed me in the back in the most brutal way recently. I am not sure what the lesson of this is though. For sure I don't trust therapists anymore. But is AI therapy really a good replacement? Because the tech libertarian billionaires come across as real false prophets. I am not sure. I am also not sure whether that was caused by a misinterpretation of the words of the quantum physics professor. In the end though I should trust his advice and stop analyzing him further to get advices from him. Which in the end are speculations. But in some way his advices helped me a lot. They gave me hope. And because I changed my life circumstances I am for the moment less suicidal and less in pain. But I think only retroactively we will know how this plays out.
I also wondered whether Sanctioned Suicide or members of Sanctioned Suicide could be false prophets. I think I am honest enough to admit that. I often question myself and my morals. I think a found a way to maximize the benfits of visiting this website while decreasing potential negative effects. And in the end last October was pretty dangerous. but I also believe in the right to choose. And in the end its my responsibility with what I do with my life. And something I need to emphasize. A member on SaSu recommended me to apply for a government payment in my country. She even had to convince me of that. And this played a massive role in giving me hope back and improving my life quality. So overall its a clear net positive for me. Otherwise I would not visit this website anymore.
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