Discussion Have you ever been hospitalized? Did it help? Did it make things worse?

[bullfrog61]

I read somewhere that people who have been psychiatrically hospitalized before are, ironically, some of the biggest suicide risks.

I was hospitalized once a few years ago. I was 19. I told my therapist I was having suicidal thoughts, and he, moron that he was, told me that if I went to the hospital they'd help "connect me with resources." He wasn't trying to trick me, he genuinely thought that was what would happen, that they'd just welcome me with a smile, put me in touch with some people, and send me on my way. I rode my bike a mile to the hospital like a good obedient little boy and told the doctor I was having suicidal thoughts, and he immediately put me under a 72 hour hold, which essentially means that you have to be hospitalized for at least three business days no matter what. It was a really traumatizing experience knowing I'd just been stripped of all my rights and was about to be essentially legally kidnapped.

I was there for 3 or 4 days, they released me pretty fast because I was well behaved and seemed to "get better" fast. Looking back, I wasn't really doing that badly at the time, I just needed a break. It was pretty much a non-event. Didn't really change anything about my life.

The only thing is that I'll have to live the rest of my life with the shame of knowing I was hospitalized. Everyone struggles with mental health so much nowadays that it's practically trendy, but very few people actually get hospitalized for it, especially men, and I did. It's something I can hide from others, unlike the scars on my left arm, but it'll always be a fact about me that I'm deeply ashamed of. I will always have this stain on me setting me apart from the rest of the world. I was a fucking college student, none of my problems were real, and yet I just had to go and be all dramatic. It'll prevent me from doing something like joining the Peace Corps, if I ever decide to do that.

What's funny is that, if I'd just fucking snapped out of it and made better decisions when I was that age, I wouldn't be in the place I'm in now. Now, I really do want to die. And I'm not going to be telling any doctors about it.

 

[UnnervedCompany]

I was thinking of telling someone to take me to a hospital because my want for suicide has escalated so much and I am not sure yet if I want to die yet but after reading this I know now there is only one thing I should do and that is to CTB.

 

[d3j3ct3dl0s3r05]

Sorry about that dude, I do hope you're ok and want to let you know that what happened was not your fault. Tbh the mental health system is pretty fucked up. It feels as if they just try to force the same "solutions" on everyone regardless of individual circumstances instead of approaching the situation with grace. In HS, I got hospitalised multiple times for suicidal ideation stemming from previously undiagnosed cptsd, depression, anxiety, asd/adhd etc but it never helped tbh. The whole time, I was made to feel like an attention-seeking burden and even when I tried to go along with the system (by expressing concerns about certain symptoms), it would be dismissed as nothing really and they would be like "there's nothing wrong with you" and discharge me with no real plan as my grades and attendance dropped further and I became more prone to breakdowns and worse. Maybe it helps for some people but to me it feels like they're only equipped to deal with more short-term depression and anxiety symptoms.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I've only been hospitalized once back when I was 15 after a failed ctb attempt. I ended up in this inpatient psychiatric program for youths and stayed in the hospital for a week. The psychiatrist there wanted to keep me there for another week but my my mom wouldn't allow it, thankfully. I wouldn't say that it helped me in any way but it also didn't make things worse. It was a pretty meh experience. The nurses were nice, as were some of the other patients. The program only keeps a few patients at a time so I didn't have to deal with a lot of people, mostly just other teens. I also got my own room and my school was nice enough to not send me schoolwork to do during my time there so I had more free time compared to some of the other patients.

My only gripe is with the psychiatrist. She was very quick to try and diagnose me with shit after having only talked to me a few times. In my opinion, psychiatrists should not be allowed to diagnose patients until at least 6 months after getting to know them. I got misdiagnosed with OCD and MDD by her and then another psychiatrist (who I was seeing after my stay at the hospital) misdiagnosed me with GAD not too long afterwards and was hellbent on forcing me to take psych meds.

 

[yowai]

5 times, didn't do shit except making me miserable during my stays there. I just felt helpless and like I had zero control of my situation. Also my partners' parents knew about my last involuntary admission and they hate me even more because of it, and believe I'm some psycho bitch that's a danger to everyone around me lmao

 

[Rev346]

Twice. First time was only for 2 days and second time was for about 10 days. It helped and I had a decent rapport with everybody there. It never solved the root issues though

 

[noidea1984]

I managed to BARELY escape being hospitalized over 3 years ago when my "friend" spilled all of what I told her to my school, then 2 sheriffs showed up to my house at midnight. One wrong sentence and it would have been catastrophe

 

[oneeyed]

I was hospitalized after my last attempt. I forget how long exactly I was there but it was several weeks. I was healing from my injuries and was only seeing a psychiatrist(s) like for 30 minutes every few days, if that. So not like I was super cared for and analyzed to ensure I was on proper meds and connected with proper resources for continued help. Felt more like a prison, I was so fucking bored. It didn't make things worst per se but definitely not better. Which is why the last time my general practitioner asked if I wanted to see a therapist (so I'm assuming psychologist not psychiatrist) I went for a phone interview to see out of curiosity but never continued.

While I do believe therapy can help, imo it's like the meds. You need to find the right person that works for you and everyone is different. I don't think the medical establishments really acknowledge that much. It's one thing for a doctor to listen to your physical symptoms and run tests then come up with a diagnosis, it's a whole other ball game getting to know someone so personally, you know how their thought patterns work and help them through the hurdles they come across.

 

[Chr0nicAnhedonic]

I was hospitalized for ideation twice within a couple months during senior year of high school. The stay itself was fine, but utterly pointless. The only productive thing from it was that someone confirmed that yes, I am actually autistic and this is why I struggled so much. After the first trip, I had to change schools because there was no way I would graduate on time at my old school. Nothing changed after the second trip, other than my mom was now upset with me that I was still not doing well in school.

The sad part is that I was lucky to only have my stay be ineffective. There are many instances where people are abused and mistreated in psychiatric hospitals, even today.

 

[NoPoint2Life]

The sad part is that I was lucky to only have my stay be ineffective. There are many instances where people are abused and mistreated in psychiatric hospitals, even today.

Agree. My stay was actually way better than most peoples. If you read accounts on here, most people seem to wind up more traumatized because their visits are so bad- so no wonder if that trauma just adds to their issues and makes them more suicidal in the future.
The place was actually separate from the hospital not in the hospital so I don't know if that made the difference.

Completely ineffective and served no use. Everything was done mostly in groups, which just bought out social anxiety in me.

I will say that even though I am not an SA victim, I still found that aspect quite unsettling. They called the guys that did things that were not medical "techs" I'm not gonna lie, some looks a little…sketchy. I sympathize for anyone that was a past victim, and had that thought running through their mind constantly during their visit. Because just thinking of it in the back of my mind for an instant was scary

 

[Blueberry Panic]

I've been back and forth in wards , but honestly if you need the help it's always a option. They call it a grippy sock vacation for a reason.

 

[DivineSpark]

I was 7 days 2023 spring. It was positive experience. Food was great, staff was nice, we even had gym.

 

[Heartaches]

I was hospitalized after my first attempt a couple of months ago. It wasn't terrible, but not great either.

I struggled to even be hospitalized in the first place, because most hospitals in my state wouldn't take suicidal patients.

When I was finally admitted, the experience left a lot to be desired. Due to lack of resources and staff, it was difficult to receive proper care and have anyone help me process what happened. Have a feeling that, while I probably wasn't the first suicidal patient the nurses received, I doubt they were given much training or resources for similar cases.

Regardless, most of the hospital staff and patients were nice to me and tried to do their best. Food was great, surprisingly.

I was only there for 2 nights, and thank god, I would've gone insane if I had to stay for longer.

The hardest parts were the lack of transparency and looking/listening to other patients as they asked for help and moaned in pain. It was deeply upsetting.

Don't know how much being hospitalized helped me. I survived and I'm thankful, as well as having scheduled appointments with therapists and psychiatrists. But it wasn't nice and I wouldn't wanna do through that again.

 

[nothingbutmybest]

To be honest, I also felt shameful not because I got hospitalized but because I know how people look at people who have been hospitalized. It still upsets me but I have more than enough confidence to get over being judged for my history.

But I can say without a doubt that it made things worse. It made me realize I was extremely different from every person there, even people with the same mental illness. I still liked them but I couldn't help but be bothered.

Though the worst part was undoubtedly locking me in a place that's essentially just a hallway and a room for 24 hours a day for 16 days, we would get a single 1-hour activity a day. It wasn't just the fact that they took away all control, they took away every method I have of distracting myself from thinking and every second spent pacing a white hall made me lose my mind. It feels great every time I leave and get fresh air but it's a nightmare until then.

 

[milkteacrown]

I just came out of the hospital after a 2 week stay ^_^ I don't find that it made me worse, or better. It was a traumatic experience, but I don't react to trauma anymore. I'm in a better mood lately because I'm on meds that work now, but that doesn't make me any less suicidal. There's a kind of emptiness inside of me that doesn't go away even if I'm in a happy mood; that's something that medication and therapy are never going to be able to fix. The nurses had no idea what to do with me, either.

 

[futurecorpse]

I've been hospitalized too many times; I have no idea what the count is. I'd say some of my hospitalizations helped, but most of them made me feel worse. I was sent inpatient a lot in high school and instead of listening to me and helping me, my social worker told me to go to the ER. Maybe it was a liability thing, idk. But it felt like no one wanted to listen to me and I still feel that way. It's why I keep trying to ctb rather than talk to someone about it first. I was in the psych ward last month and it only made me worse. I was at a hospital I've never been to and they put a tracking device on their patients. I was there for a week and I met a few cool people who I talk to every now and then. But the day I was discharged, I lost my job and I have an $8K bill I'm unable to pay because I have no income. So once my sn arrives, I'm getting out of here.

 

[depthss]

i was in a psychiatric unit for about 10 days, and it didnt make me feel any less suicidal. it really does anger me that i can, as you put it, be legally kidnapped. i dont think its helpful to put people in that situation, it just serves to make them feel more powerless and less in control, which is very stressful. it really did make me want to kill myself more, just to feel more in control again, i dont like that it feels like my autonomy is being stripped away. it did get me in contact with a very good psychologist, but nobody that was actually fully in the psychiatric unit was any help whatsoever. it was just useless, nothing they do changes anything at all, but its still forced on me, and it pisses me off that they think theyre making a difference, when theyre just making shit worse