Venting Hanging by a thread tbh

[amerie]

I don't think I can stay alive for 10 more years like I initially planned, I genuinely feel like I should just end it all in June but actually lock into it so I can get it over with and die but my ego is telling me to prove myself as worthy before I do it. Maybe I'm thinking impulsively, but I genuinely don't feel like I'm strong or worthy enough to make it in this world. I'm so behind everyone else I feel like there's no point in trying.

I'm just so angry that I was dealt with such bad cards in my life, I feel like I can't redeem myself. I don't belong here.
What's actually stopping me? Even if I don't achieve anything before I die at least the pressure will be relieved and I don't have to worry about anything. Even if people speculate about my death it won't matter because I won't be alive to hear about it.

 

[UnnervedCompany]

I had the idea that I was behind everyone as well in life then I looked around for 5 minutes into other's lives. I like the quote "You already been so far how dare you believe you can't go further."