I cannot say I am posting this to vent, though it might look like that. Actually, I think people seriously wanting to go, must consider all angles first. So, I am posting this terrible negative experience of mine in the last 24 hours...as an FYI, while I plan what next.... may be it will tell someone, something and help them think things through better... whatever's going on here... Murphy's law, Black Swan, Kismet, Parkinson's law... what have you...
Been working to a plan all week long. Needed to go right about now - Thursday night, India time. Have reason to need go before Friday afternoon. And been on "death row", if you call it that, for years now. My reasons to go are mainly health and such failures. So though I have had close calls in previous years, I survived, and waited till I could be sure of no comebacks. That time finally came. And I set everything up for this evening. Then, suddenly, about 30 hours ago, Wednesday evening, I suffered a huge back spasm out of nowhere. Last had such an injury several years ago. Couldn't even get up from my bed or anything shortly. Barely staggered back to my bed and that was that. The pain and such offset many things. Soon my timeline for SN tonight was disrupted... and now quite worried about when it will work, difficulties from letting this go on past my Friday afternoon deadline and so on.
The point of note here is that something so unconnected with everything else, my actual health and other trauma or my preps for SN or even mental readiness for going, a freak injury just started upsetting things. To be or not to be might be the question, but for either answer, many things need fall in place. I personally think life should really be called purgatory. The purgatory that's so called at least has more certainty than we have here.
Been working to a plan all week long. Needed to go right about now - Thursday night, India time. Have reason to need go before Friday afternoon. And been on "death row", if you call it that, for years now. My reasons to go are mainly health and such failures. So though I have had close calls in previous years, I survived, and waited till I could be sure of no comebacks. That time finally came. And I set everything up for this evening. Then, suddenly, about 30 hours ago, Wednesday evening, I suffered a huge back spasm out of nowhere. Last had such an injury several years ago. Couldn't even get up from my bed or anything shortly. Barely staggered back to my bed and that was that. The pain and such offset many things. Soon my timeline for SN tonight was disrupted... and now quite worried about when it will work, difficulties from letting this go on past my Friday afternoon deadline and so on.
The point of note here is that something so unconnected with everything else, my actual health and other trauma or my preps for SN or even mental readiness for going, a freak injury just started upsetting things. To be or not to be might be the question, but for either answer, many things need fall in place. I personally think life should really be called purgatory. The purgatory that's so called at least has more certainty than we have here.
