Help Got everything ready for SN, how to overcome SI?

[lionetta12]

Hi everyone,

I currently got all the meds ligned up and I've almost finished my fasting. I'm ready to take the medicines and don't think that will be an issue, but I fear that SI will kick in when it's time to actually consume the SN itself.

Anything I can do meanwhile or during that time to make it easier?

 

[Rounded Agony]

I remember you from my early days here...no clue you'd gotten to this point already :-(
Sadly I have no advice because while I'm in the process of getting this stuff ready myself, I'm still too terrified to even imagine going through with it. Personally I'm more afraid of SI after I've consumed the sn; if it's beforehand you just don't drink it and you might feel defeated, but there isn't going to be the whole...medical intervention part. Eugh

I guess just take your time, do whatever you can to feel at ease, and don't be afraid to delay. If you aren't ready, you aren't, and that's okay. There will be another bus. Do you want company? Can we make things easier?

 

[lionetta12]

I remember you from my early days here...no clue you'd gotten to this point already :-(
Sadly I have no advice because while I'm in the process of getting this stuff ready myself, I'm still too terrified to even imagine going through with it. Personally I'm more afraid of SI after I've consumed the sn; if it's beforehand you just don't drink it and you might feel defeated, but there isn't going to be the whole...medical intervention part. Eugh

I guess just take your time, do whatever you can to feel at ease, and don't be afraid to delay. If you aren't ready, you aren't, and that's okay. There will be another bus. Do you want company? Can we make things easier?

I just consumed the meds around 40 minutes ago and it went alright, don't feel anything yet.

 

[Rounded Agony]

I just consumed the meds around 40 minutes ago and it went alright, don't feel anything yet.

shoot, okay...well, now that I'm here I probably won't be able to turn away. I really hope you're confident in the decision, and that whatever happens it is without pain or suffering

 

[Rounded Agony]

Are you still there..?

 

[Brew]

Are you still there..?

How do people here know about these?

 

[freedomcalls]

I see it's probably too late for you to recursive any words of comfort, but I'm just taking a moment to honour you and your pain

I hope you had smooth passage & may you rest in peace

 

[knightxenon]

Are you still here?

 

[AliceTheGoon]

Wow this is an interesting one, a med report but not SN. I reckon either the SN worked fast or the meds caused a premature pass out.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you found the freedom from this existence that you wished for.

 

[NoHorizon]

If you are gone now I hope you had a peaceful passing.

 

[lionetta12]

Im still here, the meds I used knocked me out after 45ish minutes. Got super tierd and drowsy.

 

[freedomcalls]

Im still here, the meds I used knocked me out after 45ish minutes. Got super tierd and drowsy.

How are you feeling now Lionetta?

 

[lionetta12]

How are you feeling now Lionetta?

Idk I just wanna CTB, but the SI sucks. If I'm drunk I just get the SN out and put it next to me with all the meds and the cups, but once I'm sober my mind thinks about «what if it doesn't work» and just worries about stupid things.

 

[freedomcalls]

Yeah it's a huge step to take…. And no going back

It's ok to take your time until you are certain

Do you want to talk about what's got you wanting to CTB? Do you see any alternatives?

 

[lionetta12]

Yeah it's a huge step to take…. And no going back

It's ok to take your time until you are certain

Do you want to talk about what's got you wanting to CTB? Do you see any alternatives?

Well everyone I love tell me to suicide and that I'm a burden along with cheating on me and so on, so I dont see a purpose in staying alive. On top of that I got PTSD and I've been suicidal for 13 years now. People just keep treating me poorly no matter what I do.

 

[freedomcalls]

I'm so sorry that the world has been so cruel to you. That's such a long time to have been carrying such a heavy burden. I'm so sorry for your suffering

 

[Rounded Agony]

Im still here, the meds I used knocked me out after 45ish minutes. Got super tierd and drowsy.

Dang, was wondering about you...I'm surprised the medication knocked you out. Had you been drinking last night too? I share your feeling; living is can be so damn hard, but dying seems even harder...a really shitty rock/hard place situation :'-[

Well everyone I love tell me to suicide and that I'm a burden along with cheating on me and so on, so I dont see a purpose in staying alive. On top of that I got PTSD and I've been suicidal for 13 years now. People just keep treating me poorly no matter what I do.

That's awful. I'm assuming you've already considered/tried starting fresh, meeting new people, ptsd-specific support...lots of people seem to find or recommend doing things for yourself, but maybe like you, human relationship are so important to me that without good ones, it all seems futile