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Begotten

Begotten

Member
May 8, 2024
62
Hello,

Today I'm starting my SN regimen taking the antiemetics and I must be ready to drink the SN tomorrow

I can't remember when was the last time I actually cried, have no clue, it's been years to be honest, but today I got emotional and caught myself crying writing the letters I gonna left for the ones that care about me, yeah I'm kinda of an old school style that's why pen and paper, I guess that's the most difficult part for the ones who is trying to leave this world and that's what probably made myself not be successful on my lame past attempts, the feeling of letting people who doesn't deserve that behind hurt as fuck, but this time there's no way back once I drink my poison and lay down on my bed to the eternal sleep, anyways, just venting a bit about what happened to me today, take care all
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,705
I hope that you find peace, best wishes.
 
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Begotten

Begotten

Member
May 8, 2024
62
Updating situation

Last meal before fasting, since it's lunch and I will drink the SN poison in the very middle of night, I'll allow myself to cheat fasting and drink few small cups of coffee and eat some chocolate
 
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jarik

jarik

Student
Jun 12, 2024
161
Updating situation

Last meal before fasting, since it's lunch and I will drink the SN poison in the very middle of night, I'll allow myself to cheat fasting and drink few small cups of coffee and eat some chocolate
Congratulations, I'm happy for you
 
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Onelegman

Onelegman

I use a translator
May 24, 2024
552
I hope everything goes well with the attempt and that you find happiness.

Do not take it bad. Will you make updates?
 
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krnaaTh

krnaaTh

searching nothingness
Jun 12, 2024
27
Wish you the best of luck and to find the peace that you deserve at the end.
 
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Begotten

Begotten

Member
May 8, 2024
62
I hope everything goes well with the attempt and that you find happiness.

Do not take it bad. Will you make updates?
I can make a last update right after drinking yeah, but I plan to just lay down and listen to music.
Wish you the best of luck and to find the peace that you deserve at the end.
I hope everything goes well with the attempt and that you find happiness.
I hope that you find peace, best wishes.
And thank you all for the words.
 
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feelinggloomy

feelinggloomy

Experienced
May 29, 2024
252
Peace to you ….. peace
 
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EternalSummer

EternalSummer

Experienced
Nov 13, 2020
275
hey, are you still here ? if you wanna talk a little it would be great.
 
feelinggloomy

feelinggloomy

Experienced
May 29, 2024
252
Hope things are going in a direction that gives you peace
 
Raven2

Raven2

Arcanist
Dec 1, 2022
459
I'm sorry for whatever it was that brought you to this point and wishing you peace
 
Nothing87

Nothing87

Goodbye
Jun 5, 2024
83
I am very sorry for all the struggles and pain you felt

I hope you find peace
 
Beyond_Repair

Beyond_Repair

Disheartened Ghost
Oct 27, 2023
452
Good luck, I hope you're able to find peace with whatever you end up doing
 
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Begotten

Begotten

Member
May 8, 2024
62
Thank you all for the kind words
I just drunk the SN cup, that's salty as fuck

Now I'm gonna logout, clean my browser and try to relax a bit out of the phone until I sleep

If I don't show up in 24 hours please ban my account someone

Thank you guys, hope we all find the peace we want and see you all in the next life of there's one 🙂
 
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EternalSummer

EternalSummer

Experienced
Nov 13, 2020
275
I thought you would decide to stay a little longer. Hope you find peace.
 
B

blackwave

Member
May 9, 2024
21
Wish you safe travels and to get freedom you deserve
 
R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
4,060
I hope you have found the peace you search for 🕊
 
EternalSummer

EternalSummer

Experienced
Nov 13, 2020
275
I was talking in private with him yesterday, the problem is his father and grandmother are in the house, so maybe they rescue him before he's dead. I personally wouldn't risk being found, even suggested that he might wait sometime till he got some money to get a hotel room, but he couldn't wait anylonger, he seemed like a nice person, only 26yo, and since he already made a post here about it, i think i can share that he had problem with gambling, and that was the main cause for his CTB. I tried to advise him against it, because his problem was somewhat momentary, but he also had mental health problems since he was a teenager, so maybe his relapse into gambling was to much for him to handle.

He was so determined to do it, to the point of being calm about it, I didn't try too hard to stop him, only made some sugestions about postponing it, maybe try to talk with his close family about his problems, maybe things would look better, but this was futile.

We live in the same country and have the same time zones, he said he would take the SN 1 am, so I had the alarm set to talk with him. But he wasnt online, then I wake up at 5am and checked, he sent me a message 3:20 saying he had taken the last dose of meto and would take SN at 4 am.

He truly had made his mind, seemed like a good person, it sucks that depression seems to aflict the nicest people in our world.
 
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nevermeant2b

nevermeant2b

Member
Sep 11, 2023
40
I spoke with him also. It's sad to see he hasn't been online since
 
EternalSummer

EternalSummer

Experienced
Nov 13, 2020
275
My heart is with you my friend, i could only talk with you one day before you were gone, i felt your pain, i can't say i'm happy for you, i can't think of suicide as something good, but i'm happy you're no longer suffering. When i saw u werent online at 1am I thought you had given life another chance and wasnt planning on doing it, it made me happy, but now you're gone.

I wished I could have said goodbye in person, but anyway, hope your soul and spirit are in a fine place.
 
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sugarh1gh

sugarh1gh

Death is new departure and beggining of a journey.
May 27, 2024
325
Im sorry i couldnt do more
Hey, just want you to know that none of this is your fault. He made his choice as it is his right. Don't beat yourself up over this.
 
EternalSummer

EternalSummer

Experienced
Nov 13, 2020
275
Hey, just want you to know that none of this is your fault. He made his choice as it is his right. Don't beat yourself up over this.
He was so young, 26, took his life cause of fucking gambling websites. I know it in my heart he could have a happy life, his problem was short term, this is so sad.
 
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D

DeIetedUser4739

Guest
Apr 21, 2024
427
He was so young, 26, took his life cause of fucking gambling websites. I know it in my heart he could have a happy life, his problem was short term, this is so sad.
I used to think some things weren't worth killing yourself over but now I think any reasons valid because you can lose the courage to die and be stuck in hell forever like some other users here, myself included.

We all have to die one day anyway.
 
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