Getting over him

[terra.nuvo]

I kind of ruined my chances at seeing my ex best friend ever again about a year ago and now I'm lost.All I think about is him and how much I loved him and how I treated him kind of terribly. I want to move on so that I can finally start doing something with my life but I feel so stuck. I miss him everyday. I understand why he left but it still hurts. He said he would never leave me and that I was his highest priority and I just couldn't deal with that for some reason. It made me become obsessed with him and controlling. I'm so mad at him for telling me he loves me. He saw what his "love" was doing to me but continued to try to show me love. I guess it's my fault for not being able to control myself. I was so stupid. But beating myself up about it isn't helping. That's all I've been doing for the past year and it's just made my depression worse. I just regret so much. I miss him so much.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

I relate. There's someone in my life like this.
I love him yet it never works out.
He says he has BPD.

I wish we could take a 'spotless mind' pill, just forget them entirely because being in a state of prolonged pain and longing hurts a heart so bad, doesn't it?

Love to you xx

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I've never experienced love and it makes me extremely ashamed and feel worthless/pathetic

 

[SexyIncél]

A psychologist found one trick for releasing someone from your heart, which worked for him & others. His friend & mentor told him that "the only way to let go of someone is with love"

Naturally, he didn't like that advice; part of him was bound up with the hurt & pain. But as he thought about it, it started making sense. His hard negative emotions that caused him to emotionally clench around the memory or idea of the person. You can't let go of someone you're clinging to. He had to soften & relax, by cultivating an attitude of love & compassion

It's not an easy trick; but it gives you a chance to save what's left of your life

---

Personally, that's not my way. But my way is unusual, and perhaps far harder — as it involves new people. It's to get someone better. Which is presumably difficult when you're depressed. With the very best people, there's no problem blinking into place a cold lens of rationality — with them, it simply amplifies imagination

Your ex best friend just toyed with love. He didn't understand its nature. If he did, he'd realize it's actually quite hard to effectively love someone

 

[terra.nuvo]

I relate. There's someone in my life like this.
I love him yet it never works out.
He says he has BPD.

I wish we could take a 'spotless mind' pill, just forget them entirely because being in a state of prolonged pain and longing hurts a heart so bad, doesn't it?

Love to you xx

I agree. Losing my memories has always been a desire of mine. Especially the ones of him. I feel like without them I'd finally be able to be free.

 

[amra81nz]

Ive had a similar experience recently. I made a new friend and we ended up sleeping together but then all she wanted to do was go hookup with random people from some seedy hookup site and it has utterly destroyed me. I ended the friendship but i cant stop thinking of her and the things shes probaby done with others and it kills me over and over. i feel like im on fire inside the emotion hurts so much