Founding out someone died through social media

[Sha70]

I can't stand to see a post where someone says "I wish you could have talk to me bro" or something similar after founding out someone died from suicide. Why wait til after said person dies when you want to help him or her? But never before?

 

[GreenTree]

It annoys me when people think talking will help. It wont help me.

 

[SmellyRat]

Yeah, people can be hypocritical scumbags...sadly most people only care about themselves.

 

[Sha70]

Yeah, people can be hypocritical scumbags...sadly most people only care about themselves.

They just don't want to feel guilty for "not being there". Its about them not the person who committed suicide.

 

[itachi of death]

People don't think about things till they happen and then have guilt because they didn't care its all selfishness to me

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I think it's human to believe one could have had influence or power over something they would have wanted not to happen, but has already passed. It's a kind of magical thinking.

I would hazard a guess that is part of the thinking of some who were related to or knew someone who got their method through this site. "If SS hadn't gotten in the way, then I or someone else would have had the influence or power to help them and prevent their death/my loss."

 

[Konjac]

Most people only say things like that because they feel guilty for not giving a fuck while said person was alive- they feel more sorry for themselves than the person who committed suicide. They just want to earn pity points on social media. :/

 

[Jbell6066]

About 10 years ago a friend from high school made a post on social media simply saying "turning in early... going to test Pascal's Wager", a few week's earlier I visited where I grew up and were talked about music and philosophy. Subconsciously we both felt the same about life and that it can be in our own hands. His death didn't affect me at all, which I found weird.

Pretty sure this went off topic.

 

[Time to fly]

If you look at those words "I wish you could have talk to me bro" the important words which stand out are "I" and "me" people who know they failed use them all the time..where were they during the depression, to busy with doing something meaningless in there life which was the most important thing...I have never put my time above those close to me...have seen many of my friends go and have cleaned up after there ODs so the family don't have to see it...not saying I'm a saint but if I in my messed up head and crappy life can spend those extra minutes why can other family and friends...yes OP I hate those words and fake emotions as much as you...sorry rant over, will get back in my box now...

 

[Umbrellaterm]

I can't stand to see a post where someone says "I wish you could have talk to me bro" or something similar after founding out someone died from suicide. Why wait til after said person dies when you want to help him or her? But never before?

Because it's all a charade

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

Because it's all a charade

The very idea that talking to someone actually helps is misguided, imo.

 

[Symbiote]

The very idea that talking to someone actually helps is misguided, imo.

I dunno, does it help whenever we talk to people on a suicide forum? We haven't really offed ourselves yet, we're prolonging for sure or procrastinating. Hard to leave this place if you have people online that you can relate to.

 

[Umbrellaterm]

The very idea that talking to someone actually helps is misguided, imo.

It's a distraction among many. That's it. Well; maybe some biological feedback as well but.. ye

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I dunno, does it help whenever we talk to people on a suicide forum? We haven't really offed ourselves yet, we're prolonging for sure or procrastinating. Hard to leave this place if you have people online that you can relate to.

Then again, we talk a lot, and we are still suicidal, nobody reached recovery thanks to talking to others on this forum.

 

[SuicideBoys93]

Although I agree with the phrase nobody loves you until you're gone... Some instances are random. My old job consisted of me meeting and getting to know many people. Because of the line of work I was in, you had no choice but to bond. I created many friendships I'll cherish forever. Unfortunately, I had friends commit suicide. The most recent there were no signs. This young man had the entire world infront of him. Handsome, contagious smile, lit up the room when he walked in, and was really just the guy everyone wanted to be around. I knew he had some battles he was dealing with. I worked with him often and we lifted together outside of work. I walked out of work that Friday with him and told him hey man have a great weekend. Give me a holler if you need anything. That holler never came, and what came was a phone call the next morning informing me he shot himself after a dispute with girlfriend. I wish he would of called, and I wish they all would of called. I watched his mom stand at the foot of his grave while they dumped the dirt on top of the casket. That image is imprinted in my brain forever. It may seem contradicting given my current state of mind, but its something my heart will always yearn for because it doesn't get easier. Those feelings of could I have done more will probably never leave.

 

[MrBlue]

Maybe it's because they only become aware of that person in a meaningful way after their death. I imagine alot of people that cb are either isolated to begin with or become more detached from people as their depression worsens, so they fade into the background of people's minds. Then when they die they stop being just placeholders and people are forced to think about them, even for a second. Plus saying they would have helped etc prevents them from feeling guilt without actually having to do anything (because they're dead).

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

Maybe it's because they only become aware of that person in a meaningful way after their death. I imagine alot of people that cb are either isolated to begin with or become more detached from people as their depression worsens, so they fade into the background of people's minds. Then when they die they stop being just placeholders and people are forced to think about them, even for a second. Plus saying they would have helped etc prevents them from feeling guilt without actually having to do anything (because they're dead).

I do not even use social media and I doubt anyone will give a fuck when I die, other than family.

 

[MrBlue]

I do not even use social media and I doubt anyone will give a fuck when I die, other than family.

Same here, only my immediate family. Others like my future co-workers might hear about my death, and I imagine they'll make a comment either joking about it, or saying I clearly didn't try hard enough and gave up or something, and then never think on it again.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

Same here, only my immediate family. Others like my future co-workers might hear about my death, and I imagine they'll make a comment either joking about it, or saying I clearly didn't try hard enough and gave up or something, and then never think on it again.

I constantly imagine my coworkers commenting: "She was always weird and there was something wrong with her, no surprise she did it.", then forgetting about me totally the next second.

 

[Shero]

Why some people say it after someone died?

Simply because it's easy saying it after someone passed. You don't need to put effort in to helping someone, and you clear your conscience by believing you would've. Win win.

 

[demuic]

I seriously hate the idea that fake people in my life who barely wanted to talk to me anymore will act like they knew anything about me after my death. Especially family members and extended family members that happily acted like I never existed all my life.

 

[TheEndisNear121200]

I do not even use social media and I doubt anyone will give a fuck when I die, other than family.

Same. Everyone will completely forget after a while because they don't care, except for my parents and my siblings who will probably struggle with grief for the rest of their lives unfortunately.

And I guess this is true for most people, that's why I find that killing yourself as a form of revenge to be a stupid idea since most times people just wouldn't care and would move on easily as if you never were there , the only people that you'll end up hurting are the ones that love you the most sadly.

 

[pole]

"I can't stand to see a post where someone says "I wish you could have talk to me bro" or something similar after founding out someone died from suicide".

its hillarious how people think its just that easy. cause talking or reaching out will totally solve the situation and prevent someonew suicide just like that!

honestly, those times of remarks continue to overlook how hard and complex mental health issues and suicide truly is.

how all someone had to do was just reach out and talk, and funny enough, the same people saying this are always the same people who failed to hear out the person who ctb'd.

 

[elfgyoza]

I dunno, does it help whenever we talk to people on a suicide forum? We haven't really offed ourselves yet, we're prolonging for sure or procrastinating. Hard to leave this place if you have people online that you can relate to.

I find it helpful, it's very unlikely any of us will be able to have these conversations with someone we know.

Whether they like to admit it or not, chances are they don't know what it's like to be in our position, so all they know to say is 'wish you could have talked to me'
I also think that we can be quite pessimistic - this isn't the attitude people like to be around, it drags them down too.

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

And many times when you do talk to them, they don't really listen. When you mention suicide, they just tell you not to do it. Many of them don't really care about you.

 

[BLUE1970]

It's not always obvious a person is struggling, men in particular hide their emotions relatively well. Only after the event does it become apparent that the individual was troubled. Most people that know me wouldn't suspect how I'm feeling, with the exception of my parents, they know something is a foot as they have now started calling me in the morning and evening, making up some excuse to check in....use to be every few days or so.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I dunno, does it help whenever we talk to people on a suicide forum? We haven't really offed ourselves yet, we're prolonging for sure or procrastinating. Hard to leave this place if you have people online that you can relate to.

The difference is that individuals in this forum, on average, are more genuine than those that you see on social media, or at least it seems that way most of the time; this statement could be wrong though. There have been quite a few users who have posted on this forum about being cut off or abandoned by friends over social media, and that is why they come here: because in this community they feel as if others actually listen to them.

 

[Symbiote]

The difference is that individuals in this forum, on average, are more genuine than those that you see on social media, or at least it seems that way most of the time; this statement could be wrong though. There have been quite a few users who have posted on this forum about being cut off or abandoned by friends over social media, and that is why they come here: because in this community they feel as if others actually listen to them.

It's good to be in the same boat with others, rather than being in a group where everyone is different, and you row in circles trying to connect with them. Here it's easier because we have one goal in mind.