For the first time in my life I feel death is close

[Surai]

I have this constant feeling this past year of this death very close to me. Like its in my chest and breathing. slamming against my heart when its beating. When I lay for sleep it sees me and i cant sleep until I collapse. It wants me dead and Im dying. I can feel it, its taking all my energy away. I am the weakest I have ever been. and these forces that I cannot see push me to keep working till I die. Its like there is nothing I can do to make it stop. Seriously considering it. If I get a rope of some kind, strong enough. Ill put myself to sleep one last time.

does anyone else feel death very close like its holding you, wanting you slowly guiding you to the edge

 

[sximii]

I have had this feeling a lot on the past, now no. It comes and goes for me in waves, sometimes it's there but not always