my friends brought this up recently and I hate how they talked about it. I figured that you guys would understand me better
I don't like it when people judge you for having a reason to live that isn't "because I don't want to leave the people I love" or "so I can learn that there's more meaning to life". so what if I want to live to keep listening to music? to look forward to a new episode of a series I like? or maybe even to get some nice art supplies and get compliments from people? yes, I love attention, and I want to be alive to feel and see it.
these little things bring me so much joy. I'm going to hold onto every single thing that makes me happy. maybe that's why I don't want to ctb because there's so much for me to enjoy.
I do have some reasons to live that aren't inherently "selfish". I wish to meet my online friends who are dear to me IRL. they're one of the reasons I'm alive. I don't know how much I mean to them exactly, but I don't want to leave them because I know we make each other happy. and I don't want to break a promise because we already planned what we would do when we meet. I look forward to that. maybe it's selfish that I only stuck around because they said they'd buy me things, but I personally think it's worth it because it's their love language. I feel appreciated and I'm happy.
and I think I can live with this, for now.
I don't like it when people judge you for having a reason to live that isn't "because I don't want to leave the people I love" or "so I can learn that there's more meaning to life". so what if I want to live to keep listening to music? to look forward to a new episode of a series I like? or maybe even to get some nice art supplies and get compliments from people? yes, I love attention, and I want to be alive to feel and see it.
these little things bring me so much joy. I'm going to hold onto every single thing that makes me happy. maybe that's why I don't want to ctb because there's so much for me to enjoy.
I do have some reasons to live that aren't inherently "selfish". I wish to meet my online friends who are dear to me IRL. they're one of the reasons I'm alive. I don't know how much I mean to them exactly, but I don't want to leave them because I know we make each other happy. and I don't want to break a promise because we already planned what we would do when we meet. I look forward to that. maybe it's selfish that I only stuck around because they said they'd buy me things, but I personally think it's worth it because it's their love language. I feel appreciated and I'm happy.
and I think I can live with this, for now.
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